By JBern
Reviews
riegert8 posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 8:51am
This a great chapter,normal I leave my reviews with fanfiction.netIt sad that Dumbledore is trying to forced Harry to return for that the students would believe that they are safe, well he is final offer training and some private lessions I come back to it. It funny that Dumbledore will tell Harry that they have a discussed about Training, sirius and that Dumbledore want Harry to have a childhood, well I guess it normal for their guardian hate them and abused them for Dumbledore point of view. It sad that Dumbledore would try to set up with a relationship with Hermione, he should have known that someone would become interested in Hermione or Harry. It fuuny that Dumbledore admit that he has no part in it when Mr and Mrs Weasley try to trade Ginny for Hermione and that he hope that he could forgive Hermione,Mr & Mrs Weasley, Ron & Ginny Weasley, what worse is that will call them friend because of their actions shows that there are not good friends. Back to Dumbledrore offering training and private lession that would seem like a big risk, if it me I won't trust Dumbledore teach me how to make my bed. Dumbledore have prove that he someone who would manipulate people and a common thief, it shock that he would ask for forgiveness. We would seee in future chapter if he derserve a chance to earn it. I would think as of this time that Ron, Ginny and Hermione are no longer his because of their actions and their would have to earn forgineness.
JBern replied:
Sheesh. Thanks for the long and thoughtful review. Don't necessarily make any assumptions about DD's motives...All will be revealed in good time.~Jim
The Resident posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 8:34am
Another fine chapter. Keep up the great work. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
JBern replied:
Glad you liked it. My other stories demand attention, so it will be a few weeks before the next update, plus I want to give a spectacular fight between the remaining heroes and the Daemon.~Jim
Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 8:21am
Brilliant fight between Harry and Chilotha.
I'm with Harry on unforgiveness. DD should have never considered manufacturing an attraction between Harry and Hermione. That Molly went along doesn't surprise me. I am absolutely appalled that Hermione would agree to this. Even in a non-H/Hr environment can't see her consenting to this. Therefore, Harry's unforgiveness is perfectly understandable.
Friendships with all of them, and 95% of the respect for DD are over. Next set of players, please, this game is done and the current contestants go home with any parting gifts - they've stolen enough.
I cannot imagine how you might rekindle anything between any of them and Harry except for a work-with-DD-to defeat-Riddle scenario, then he gets flushed as well.
If you restore any friendship with them to any degree, I will be amazed at your creative powess.
Cheers!
JBern replied:
Thanks for the compliments. Of course you don't know all of DD's motives, so it's never safe to assume....(insert evil cackle here).
You can't see Hr consenting to it, because you didn't hear the pros and cons of the debate. The most effective would have been for DD to say to Hr that if the potions don't work then we won't proceed. They merely enhance feelings that are already present...(insert 2nd evil cackle here.)
Sorry, I choked a bit on that 2nd cackle. I have to go now.~Jim
Wolfric posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 7:26am
Another fine effort. So are daemons affected by patronis charms? We all know who has a good patronis charm. Once again your action sequences are gripping. Thanks. W.
JBern replied:
You are a very insightful reader. I'll just leave it at that...~Jim
Jim_xinu posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 7:16am
Yay! Bill's alive! Boo! Thundercloud's dead. While still a blow, his death isn't quite the blow Bill's was/would have been.
The Daemon is remarkably scary. Well done.
Wow, looking back at chapter 2, it looks like DD might not be lying about not knowing about the memory charms before. Before they happened, that is.
However, his letter also seems to indicate that he didn't know anything about it before Harry's rant letter. That seems extraordinarily unlikely to me. I can't see anyway that DD wouldn't have found out--surely somebody would have shown him Harry's leaving note at least.
So I'd have to assume that DD was and still is trying to play Harry.
"I apologize for any transgressions against you." -- Oh, there's a real remorseful apology. "Whatever you're mad about, that's what I'm sorry for."
"...were it not for the rules that forbade any additional coaching..." -- Because god knows following the rules of some contest where everybody cheats anyway is more important.
"I have, in my own fashion, expressed my disappointment with them in this matter." -- Like: "Morons! You got us caught!" Although from Fleur's comments way back about it, it could be that attraction potions are not considered that big a deal to most magicals.
"I would only ask that you give me the opportunity to make amends." -- "But don't expect me to make any promises about not doing it again."
Good chapter, thanks for sharing it with us.
Do I remember reading that you plan to have a sequel to this?
JBern replied:
I'm certain DD conducted a through investigation as soon as he was made aware that Harry had gone missing. Don't you just hate it when the author only gives you a taste of the future...
Thanks for the compliments on the Daemon.
Yes there is a sequel. Bungle ends in roughly 3 chapters with Harry and whoever is still alive going back to England. Of course there's a chance that Harry is possesed by the Daemon and going back to slaughter England. Ooops never mind forget I said anything...~Jim
Claudia R posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 6:48am
I am sad to say that I am glad Bill's alive i=even if thundercloud isn't... him and Kwan were my favorite of the new characters (HAck a close 3rd)
Dumbles sure is optmist... and givin delayed advice... wonder if he will tell them the key for destroying a deamon after they did it!
JBern replied:
Glad you liked it. My other stories demand attention, so it will be a few weeks before the next update, plus I want to give a spectacular fight between the remaining heroes and the Daemon.~Jim
ichtys posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 6:37am
Hi Jim.
Nice chapter. I look forward to read about two things:
a) The final fight between the Phoenix Expedition and the Daemon.
b) The replies from Luna. I don't know what it will take to make her read the journal, but I think a broom to the head might help.
Looking forward to the next chapter.
Regards Ichtys
JBern replied:
Thanks. I caught the stupid title error on Ficwad shortly before I got your msg.~Jim
Particle_Accelerator posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 6:07am
Very intriguing. Hmm, maybe Thundercloud's granddaughter is going to need some "comforting"... heh heh heh. It was interesting to read Dumbledore's missives. To actually believe that he was right in tricking Harry to fall for Hermione "in order to give him stability!" If that was what he truly wanted (to have Harry and Hermione form a deep and loving bond), he should have sat Hermione down and explained that Harry needed a close friend to guide and comfort him over the summer, and maybe should she keep herself open to the possibility of a romantic relationship. The whole "Hermione at Privet Drive" scenario. IMO, that could have worked, because whether JKR wants to admit it or not, there is evidence in the books that Hermione could have been a romantic interest for Harry all the way up through the first part of HBP. Anyways Dumbledore, better than anyone, should have realized how manipulative Molly is (she is just as bad as he is, just more obvious) and putting Ginny, Harry, and a love potion under her control would just breed disaster. At this point, I am not sure just how accepting Harry will ever be to making up with the twins, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny. I think Molly and Arthur are going to be on his list of things to avoid at all costs, probably for the rest of his life. Well, that's all. Looking forwards to the next chapter!
JBern replied:
As you should realize by now, DD never gives away his entire hand. I'm sure there is something more going on, aren't you? The cool thing is that by giving DD a little story time, many are already starting to thing about what the sequel will hold. I actually settled on a title for it. 'Turn Me Loose: A Harry Potter Adventure'. Can't you just here the wicked bass line of Loverboy starting up now. Google the lyrics and it should help give you an idea of the tone of the sequel.~Jim
steph155 posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 5:30am
"For the longest time Singapore and Calcutta had rat problems. It’s taboo to kill a rat in some cultures"
As a Singaporean Chinese, I have to say that I kind of resent that. It is *definitely* not taboo to kill a rat here, nor(I believe) has it ever been so. But seeing as how this is *the* best piece of fanfiction written in the second person perspective I've ever read, I can overlook it.
P.S: I know you have probably already heard many variations of this but indulge me while I reiterate the fact that your take on Bill is bloody fantastic.
Happy writing!
JBern replied:
When I wrote that it was more in reference to Calcutta. Unfortunately for Singapore, the bulk of their transfers was with Calcutta. Hence the rat problem that irritated the Goblins and their Cursebreakers in Singapore.
Sorry if it wasn't clear what I was trying to say. At some point I'll fix it, but I'm more concerned with finishing the story first before I correct the pile of errata.
Glad you enjoy the story. Hope it continues to get the nod of approval.~Jim
JoFarries posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 5:28am
Hurray! Bill's not dead, although I am sorry that Thundercloud is gone. He was a good man. This is such a terrific story, I can't wait for the next episode!
Jo F.
JBern replied:
Well the next update has to wait for my other stories to get an update first. Glad you liked it.~Jim
Fishburne posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 5:24am
Oh yeah - one more thing! The Great Inferi Cattle Drive of 1996 - I cannot WAIT to see how you push that through.
No more Kill Bill - or Hack - or Kwan - they are beloved characters now. And to do so would be ebil.EEEEEBIL. anyways, I forgot the most important thing.
FANBOY STATUS - 2 months - at least!
JBern replied:
The zombies go marching side by side hurrah hurrah...
Can't make any promises other than Harry survives for the sequel...It has a name now 'Turn Me Loose: A Harry Potter Adventure' can't you hear the wicked Loverboy bass guitar starting right now...
Jim
Fishburne posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 5:20am
BWAHAHAHA - Fish stupid like kitty cook.
Dude, this story just rocks from all directions.
Just in case you were wondering, the shirts turned out ok, and! 5 year olds are LOADS more fun than teenagers. It gets better as they get older, but I LONG for the days of my little girl.
Now its just "Clothes I Hate" and "You call THAT music? Turn that down!!!"
Anyway - I love the bit with Chilotha, and damn, a daemon!
JBern replied:
Oh dear. Thanks for the cautionary tale of parenting a teenager. You forgot to mention how they know everything and you just don't understand...~Jim
Musings of Apathy posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 4:49am
Excellent chapter. Thank you for not making us wait as long as you could have. Will this make the next chapter and even longer wait?
I am disappointed that Luna did not respond, as you mentioned that I am. Will you bring up the prophecy and Riddle being the one to kill Harry? If so, you could argue that the Horcrux in the Daemon will allow him to act as Riddle, depressingly enough.
Thank you for writing.
Mike (MoA)
JBern replied:
No problem. I took a look at the reviews for the last chapter I realized I shouldn't toy with the readers like that. Riddle summoned the Daemon. That alone is enough to allow it to kill Harry.
I always wanted to do a humor story where Voldemort revels in his victory and he stops to see Bellatrx at her recently reaquired #12. After some 'relations' LV goes to shower and clean up. He slips falls and splits his head open on the bath mat. The flashback goes back a few years and you see Harry giving the bath mat to Sirius. "It's nice Harry, but it's a little slick when water hits it." Oh well, maybe something for Crys' 1001 Deaths...
Luna will be heard from before the end f the story, just not yet. Right now there are 3 chapters left.~Jim
Quizer posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 4:48am
Very interesting. I read chapter 14 after your hint, and I realized the bracelet is the only thing that stands out in that chapter. Too bad Thundercloud had to go instead, but he won't be as sorely missed as Bill. Please tell me you won't kill off Hack!! ;(
The demon that can see AUs was kind of interesting, too. Too bad it's going to have to be killed... xD
I'm looking forward how that Inferi Army is going to work. I'm interested to see how that will be implemented.
I'm also wondering how much of Dumbledore's drivel to believe. Could it really have been Molly and Arthur? Nah...
Please write more soon!
Quizer
JBern replied:
Glad you liked it and picked up on the hint. I'm surprised no one guessed it on their own. The only one who is guaranteed to make it to the next chapter is Harry. Though sparing Bill in one chapter only to kill him off the next might be rather cruel on my part. I'm back on my regular schedule so updates to TFtCD first.~Jim
Meteoricshipyards posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 4:32am
Nice fight.
Great build up.
Glad Bill survived.
Dumbledore's still a jerk.
Sorry Luna didn't answer.
Looking forward to the great Inferi cattle drive of 1996. Did Bill ever see the movie Tremmors? Stampede!
Do they have any dynamite?
Thanks for the quick update!
Tom A.
JBern replied:
Thanks. We'll see just what they have available next chapter. Next chapter - LET THERE BE WAR! The good guys are the ones with the Zombie Army!~Jim
Ken Warner posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 3:56am
excellent as always - either you have an evil mind, incredible knowledge of small groups tactics, or your fight club contains some real historians. Whatever the source - the story is fantastic, and the regular (as in can be counted on) updates are much appreciated.
thanks
JBern replied:
Let's go with the evil (or as Fishburne says eBBBBILLLL) mind. The group of guys and gals I work with are great. It's the difference between the polish of this story and the roughness of The Lie I've Lived, which I've been doing solo for a competition that probably isn't really happening. Glad you liked it. My other stories demand attention, so it will be a few weeks before the next update, plus I want to give a spectacular fight between the remaining heroes and the Daemon.~Jim
Prospero Hibiki posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 3:55am
w00t!
Though it kind of sucks that Thundercloud bit it it's nice that Bill lived.
Good chapter if a little quick...(fast pace makes it seem shorter)
Look forward to the next...
I and I can't believe you made a POAH joke last time! <groan>
-ET3 Mongoose
JBern replied:
Oh come on who doesn't like a bit of Nuke humor. I've got plenty more.... Well actually I don't at the moment. I'll try and think up some of the more amusing anecdotes. So for now, I think I'll....
Smile
Walk away
Ignore the situation
Make up a story
Stick to it
(What a real Radcon would tell you SWIMS means... Sorry I lied I had another.)~Jim
BloodTalons posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 3:53am
Well, it appears that I suffered from a short and brief bout of wisdom when I said I'd wait until this chapter before stating that Bill was dead. Since he is alive atm, Harry doesn't appear to have to notify Fleur of his demise. Although...No guarantees for after the daemon breaks free.
The journal entries were inspired. Another case of even when Dumbledore is given a slap in the face, he doesn't let such ugliness seep into his perception of reality and continues on with platitudes.
Personally, I'd be looking for any text that might tell how to summon, banish, or trap a daemon. Banishing it would be nice. Trapping it and getting it to go after Dumbledore would only be a slightly worse option. Summoning a 2nd daemon to fight the first would be (hopefully) a "last resort" scenario.
An Inferi cattle drive (or in this case, stampede?) is an inspired bit of cunning...Bill was a Gryffindor, wasn't he? Definitely looking forward to the chapters to follow.
Looks like Harry may make that trip to the reservation again, but this time for less pleasant reasons.
JBern replied:
Thanks for the compliments. You've got to be cunning to be a curse breaker. I will do my level best to provide a "holy friholes, no holds barred, rockem sockem" battle for the next chapter. I'm still getting a kick that the good guys are the ones using the zombie army. How twisted is that?~Jim
djbe posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 3:25am
I knew it! :-P okay, let me rephrase that: I hoped for it! I thought that chilota had hidden Bill somewhere, and that the dead dog was a transfigured goblin or something... Uhm, little question, why don't they need to ration the dreamless sleep potion anymore? Because so many died? Or because they won't be getting any sleep before the demon gets them?
JBern replied:
Well sleep in the place is still a bit disturbing because of the massive horror that occured here, but the real power of the dreams came from Chilotha seeking the member of the party most susceptible to possession.~Jim
Princess Fictoria posted a comment on Saturday 24th March 2007 9:10am
JBern replied: