Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Thursday 8th March 2007 7:10am

Harry's epithet by Luna was great. I can just imagine her Dad's reaction to some of the stuff Harry would enjoy giving Luna. I would love to see Kwan become the DADA professor - the curse would be broken because he would scare anything that tried to keep it away! Hack giving Harry the answer was very good and I loved the Goblin paranoia. The absolute darkness of that last section was wonderful.

JBern replied:

The other running gag of Animage vs Animagus had to be resolved at some point.   I thought it would be amusing for Hack to provide the answer.~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Thursday 8th March 2007 6:22am

Kwan has some truly appalling teaching methods but I imagine it makes Harry a very quick learner indeed. The threat of Day 3 would terrify me into brilliance. Once again, excellent action scenes.

JBern replied:

Thanks for the compliments.   Wonder how enrollment would suffer if Kwan was hired as DADA instructor?~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Thursday 8th March 2007 3:16am

Harry's "Your jungle! Yours!" section was brilliant. I also really liked Bill's cat joke. Hack is crude but very funny. The gentle edging forwards of Harry and Luna's relationship was also good fun.

JBern replied:

I acutally borrowed the Your jungle line from Alex the lion in Madagascar, but it fit pretty well.~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Thursday 8th March 2007 2:57am

The Green cheese answer was very funny. In fact, scratch that, Luna's entire letter was hilarious. The Tupi Indian phrase was excellent. I also really like the way you balance the fluffy scenes (which really aren't that fluffy) with action and darkness.

JBern replied:

For some reason, I thought I replied to all these reveiws before.   Maybe, I'm just losing what's left of my mind.~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Thursday 8th March 2007 1:22am

I love the exploration of the primal animagus ritual. There are many ways I've read where Harry becomes an animagus but this was one of the best ones. I also really liked Harry's obsession with Starless Sky's boobs.

JBern replied:

Thanks again.   I wanted to take animagery and curse breaking/ward crafting in completely different directions.   Plus what teenaged boy wouldn't like a nice set of chest ornaments?~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Thursday 8th March 2007 12:50am

I get your point about Naked Veela. Clearly they much improve your point of view. The way that Fleur manages to convey "Come hither and ravage me" is brilliant. Loved the line "Yes, my life flashed before my eyes and I found out that it needs to be longer." There was nice development between Harry and his girls too.

JBern replied:

More naked Veela is always a good thing.   Plus I enjoyed the running gag of Harry keeps running into Fleur in a compromising state of dress.~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 7th March 2007 9:32am

I can see why Harry has a new favourite game. Dodgespell is also great fun. I really like the way you justify the relationship between them without making it too complicated. Great chapter.

JBern replied:

Finally catching up on my backlog of replies.   Glad you have enjoyed the story so.~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 7th March 2007 8:50am

Granger animating THE BOOK to sleep with it was disturbing, very, very disturbing, as it's probably only too accurate. I also loved the beginnings of animagery and the way Harry learned how to apparate. Harry and the dragon was such a terrifically fun scene. Great line: "I know blackmail is so very beneath me, but it is a flaw I am learning to live with."

JBern replied:

Thanks for all the reviews.   When I have more free time, I'll respond to each, but I just wanted to jump in and say thanks.   Harry is a bit down on his friends at that point.   You'll probably notice that as the story goes on, he becomes less fixiated with Ron and Hermy F. Bags.   Still, he is a bitter teenager...

And what pray do tell is wrong with Kwan's instructional methods? I think you'll really enjoy the coming chapters and the animagery that ensues.

Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 7th March 2007 8:29am

Apparater's Cramps are such a good idea. The random information about Moody was fascinating and I agree with Harry about Bill's sexual references.

JBern replied:

I find it is the details that make the story more enjoyable.   It makes the story longer, but even so, it's not like I'm doing this for money so if I ramble a bit - who cares?~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 7th March 2007 8:11am

"You decide to face the music and pray that it isn't too loud" was a very funny line. Pretty much anything Bill said was also very funny. The cheap broomstick was particularly good. Poor Harry.

JBern replied:

Ah the sobering charm...life would be much easier with one wouldn't it? (Are you really the coolest pixie?)~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 7th March 2007 6:43am

Transoceanic curse option was superb. The continued letters between Luna and Harry are developing their relationship really nicely. I also adore Harry going out for fun but balancing it with darkness. Excellent chapter.

JBern replied:

Look for the correspondence relationship to continue.   Harry should be a teenager and doing the same stupid things that teenagers given their first taste of freedom end up doing.~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 7th March 2007 6:32am

Ron as Han Solo only works in the Dangerverse parody of the films. Absolutely excellent chapter. I particularly enjoyed the diary entries. You're right about the Weasley family. You also write great Harry - very convincing thoughts of him as the canon character and a betrayed teenage boy.

JBern replied:

Actually in Darkness Harry is more like Luke.   In this one Harry is more like Han.   More specifically, he is more like Indiana Jones.   I'm just busy channeling the recollections of my teenaged self and what ran through my head back then.~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 7th March 2007 6:19am

I adore your Luna. She's brilliant by being canon and at the same time completely original. I also love the way Harry is so completely natural around Fleur - as any teenage boy would be. I've always liked Bill so this should be great. Wonderful chapter.

JBern replied:

Above all else (and in my case especially above grammar) I strive for originality.   There have been all kinds of versions of Luna, but up until now at least to my knowledge no one has ever given us a Luna that is perfectly sane and doing all this for fun... or is she?

More on that later....

When all else fails - MORE NAKED VEELA!~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 7th March 2007 6:03am

Loved the Dark Lord Grumblefart. That last scene explains so very much. Poor Harry, his obliviated mind will find it pretty hard to cope if they keep doing this to him. Superb chapter. That was dark and twisted and so good.

JBern replied:

Originally I was going to only use about 9 chapters between chapter 1 and getting back to chapter 1.   The story got more involved as it took off, which is a good thing.~Jim

Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Wednesday 7th March 2007 5:45am

I'm slightly confused about how Harry has ended up where he is but I love what he's doing there. Superb first chapter.

JBern replied:

After you read chapter 17 go back and reread chapter 1.   It'll make a whole heck of a lot more sense then.~Jim

Stygius posted a comment on Monday 5th March 2007 1:20am

wow.. sometimes i think you are pulling this out a bit too much, but other times i think you brilliant.. right now, i am not sure which it is.. harry 'last' letter are always good... would love to know how or if luna is responding to them... anyway, congrats and update soon... i look forward to the end of this and the start of the next great adventure. however, this adventure ends.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   I am starting on the next chapter today.   I hope you continue to enjoy this story and its planned sequel.~Jim

rebirthofham posted a comment on Friday 2nd March 2007 11:52am

awesome awesome awesome.

KEEP WRITING MATE!!!!!

JBern replied:

Thanks.   I am starting on the next chapter today.~Jim

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Friday 2nd March 2007 2:32am

Fascinating leave-behind-surprise catered by Voldie. I like the idea that Maria gone now makes Harry a curse-breaker on the team by necessity. Also interesting that he is the only fully functioning curse breaker for a while.

Goblin Perfidy? Excellent bone of contention.

JBern replied:

Again, I like my battles to be fast paced and brutal.   I have to thank the folks that help with this story.   Maria's death was rewritten a total of 4 times.   One of them pointed reminded me that, "She only dies like a bit character, if you let her die like a bit character."

Very true advice indeed.~Jim

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Friday 2nd March 2007 2:28am

Once again, your explanations of wards and warding concepts are amazing. The only going one-way communication with Luna should do the trick. The idea of wards to make them uncomfortable to the extreme is very interesting.

I most certainly HOPE Bill is not playing along with Dumbledore taking Harry there as a training exercise. Although, if the prophecy can be interpreted as no one else can kill Harry, I guess.... Please tell me this isn't a Harry-goes-back-kills-Voldie-and-then-everyone-else story.

Harry's aerial battle was quite brilliant.

JBern replied:

Thanks for the compliments.   I take a view on warding much like computer programming.   You need to create a ward to do something specific....

It's not necessarily the wards making everyone uncomfortable, it's the 'great evil' that was perpetrated in the ruined city - or that's what the heroes believe it is....

Bill is on Harry's side.   Rest assured.   I have specific plans for the sequel and many of the characters (notably Dumbledore and Hermione) have some explaining to do.

Jim

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Friday 2nd March 2007 2:21am

The series of missives with Luna are chilling for us to watch Harry go through. You've written this so well, yet heartbreaking.

I re-read the first chapter - still a very fine fight scene that's even more understandable now.

JBern replied:

Long distance writing relationships suffer greatly from overreaction.   Mix in two people with rather poor social skills and a good deal of personal strife and it is a recipe for certain doom.~Jim