By JBern
Reviews
Merlin323545 posted a comment on Saturday 24th February 2007 10:47am
Great chapter great fic it was so good that instead of doing my term paper that is due tomorrow and will dertermine if i pass or fail i spent the time reading the fic. I am now completely entralled and cannot wait for more.
JBern replied:
Well I hope you do well on your term paper. I'd hate for your grades to suffer.~Jim
in-fanficauthors posted a comment on Saturday 24th February 2007 10:37am
Wow. Intense chapter. I have to hope that Maria is found somewhere, but I know that sort of thing doesn't happen very often especially considering the injuries she had.
I do wonder, though, about the trap. What better way to hide the real treasure than to set an elaborate trap, brag that it is a trap and that there is nothing to find, and then if they live, let them give up and try somewhere else. I don't know if I think Voldemort is twisted and clever in that way, though.
Anyway, nice chapter. Please continue!
JBern replied:
It's doubtful that they'll find Maria. You have an interesting theory about where the gold is.~Jim
uNople posted a comment on Saturday 24th February 2007 10:23am
Great chapter. I like it that there's constant adversary, and yet bright points as well.
JBern replied:
It wouldn't be any fun if I gave them time to get adjusted.~Jim
Magnificent the Destroyer Lord posted a comment on Saturday 24th February 2007 8:42am
Uhh... just outta curiosity, why hasn't there been any responses from Luna? Is she continuing to give Harry the cold shoulder?
Thanks and good luck with the updates
M*T*D*L*
JBern replied:
The journals they use don't function while one of the journals is inside a fidelius area. Her journal is recieving, but cannot send reply messages. She also may not have taken the journal to Hogwarts. She wasn't exactly happy with him when they parted ways.
Hope that answers your question. Thanks for the review.~Jim
Musings of Apathy posted a comment on Saturday 24th February 2007 8:23am
Wow, I can't wait until the transfer box is fixed and Luna gets to see the journal entries. Of course, we won't see her reactions, no, just her response, if she can manage to let go of her anger long enough to read the journal and show some compassion for something outside of herself.
Maria is a surprisingly emotional loss. She was painted with such a negetive brush for the most part, but we ended up attached to her with out our realization until she was gone. She was so easy to dislike, but we ended up liking and understanding her partially as a friend in the end.
It looks like it's going ot be rough for a while here. Our skills at curse breaking will either expand and flourish rapidly with forced experience (as we are good at) or there is great trouble in store.
Thank you for writing and sharing.
Mike (MoA)
JBern replied:
Luna's journal is receiving. It just cannot send to a journal that is inside a fidelius protected area. Of course, Luna may not have even taken it to Hogwarts with her. Glad I caught you with Maria's death. Everyone expected it to be Collins.
Thanks for taking the time to review.~Jim
Quizer posted a comment on Saturday 24th February 2007 8:12am
Nice to see you keeping at it. Can't say I'm surprised to see some of Bill's team perish, it was going to happen sooner or later. I'm glad you didn't make it more painful than necessary.
Naturally, I have to wonder about the goblins now. But why doesn't Harry see/hear any reaction of the goblins to Collin's outburst? The way you describe it they seemed to be present, yet they didn't react? I think this is a flaw in your otherwise sound storytelling.
How long is this crypt adventure going to continue? How far are we along the timeline? Will Luna write back before the sequel begins?
Good luck with the next chapter!
Quizer
JBern replied:
Remember, Harry is a bit dazed and confused just coming out of falling asleep. He was concentrating on Collins and his screaming. The story will conclude in 4-6 chapters. The last 2 chapters will be back in the real world as it were. So the answer to your question is 2-4 chapters of tomb lovin fun.~Jim
PerfesserN posted a comment on Saturday 24th February 2007 7:45am
Curse breakers seem to have the same life expectancy as EOD (Explosive Ordinance Disposal) professionals. Poor Harry, you seem to be digging him in deeper and deeper - can we hope for a reprieve for him anytime soon; perhaps at least a kind word from Luna?
Tune in again next week (month?)
Seriously, this is a great story, the characters are believable - the good guys are just a lighter shade of grey, the bad guys somewhat darker.
We are, as always, looking forward to the continuance.
N!
JBern replied:
Curse Breaking is dangerous work. The people who ward the tombs or crypts don't want them to be disturbed. It will probably be about 3 weeks for the next update. Luna? Probably not next chapter, but eventually.~Jim
jzysman posted a comment on Saturday 24th February 2007 7:14am
I love this. Even with the harsh reality of the situation settling in, Harry hasn't changed too much anymore, and I can't help but love the character you created with Bill. I will tell you that I honestly didn't expect Maria to die.. I was actually expecting Thundercloud (oh no... I gave you an idea):-) Great stuff thanks!
JBern replied:
Glad you enjoyed the chapter. More coming soon, but I must update my other stories first. So who do you think is next? Insert evil laughter here.
Jim
M2J MandalorianJedi posted a comment on Saturday 24th February 2007 7:05am
I didn't expect that. But with Collins is suffering from dementia and some post traumatic stress, one can't help but think that if the Goblins don't hurry up, more people will die. This whole trip will definitely leave it's mark on Harry and Bill... In the sequels will we get to see more of Thundercloud, Kwan, Hack and Collins? They're some of the coolest guys you could come up with. Heck, I wouldn't have minded seeing Maria in the sequel either, but obviously that's not going to happen at this point.
JBern replied:
Not unless she's a ghost. I promise you will see more of whoever is left for the sequel. The only one I will unconditionally say survives is Harry.~Jim
Meteoricshipyards posted a comment on Saturday 24th February 2007 7:02am
Very exciting fight. Wish I could write one of those.
I really look forward to getting the notices that you updated this story. I really like it. The only "problem" I have is that we don't know what's happening back in merry ol' England (or Scotland as the case may be.)
Oh well, the problems of limited POV.
Looking forward to the next exciting installment!
Thank you for sharing this.
Tom A.
JBern replied:
Don't sell yourself short. I like the your style of writing. You are indeed correct about the limited POV, but all will be revealed in good time. Perhaps there will even be a letter from Albus in the next chapter...
Jim
Skullera posted a comment on Saturday 24th February 2007 6:56am
brilliant!
JBern replied:
Thanks. More coming soon.~Jim
ruby tripton posted a comment on Saturday 24th February 2007 6:43am
I am so glad you wrote.
Too bad I didnt like the chapter much. I know you said someone was going to die, it just was not a fun chapter.
I also dont like that you killed off the only female on the mission. It is my women's lib kicking in but it bugs me. JKR did the same thing with Fleur in GOF...
Harry's bakc bone is not yet fully formed apparently. He knows the 'mind' of Hold-the-Shorts (and curlies) better than any one else. He has to make sure other's hear his opinion, even if his ideas are shot down.
Looking forward to more.
Still hoping for a parallel story from the POV of someone in England.
Ruby
JBern replied:
Sorry you didn't care for it too much. You'll have to suffer for a few chapters as the humor aspect takes a distinct back seat to the mayhem that is beginning. Remember, Bill is in charge. Plus only he and Harry know about the Horcrux. Thus arriving in the bank, to keep their cover the first target had to be the gold.
For the English POV, you'll still have to wait for the sequel. Though if and when the Gobs get the transfer platform working and assuming Collins isn't right about them?!? We should soon see a letter from Albus...
Jim
Paul Dueck posted a comment on Saturday 24th February 2007 5:07am
Awesome
very well done
Paul
JBern replied:
Thanks. Glad you enjoyed it. More coming soon.~Jim
Fishburne posted a comment on Saturday 24th February 2007 4:36am
BOOYA!
Now this is what I'm looking for!
Excellent use of timing and solid action. Sorry that Maria was toasted, and dayam, thats some fine writing, son!
Excellent use of gallows humor, and it really sparked up the despair, dontcha think?
Fish - Fanboy for at least the next 2 days.
JBern replied:
Wow 2 whole days! The chapter can be summed up in the phrase, "It's all fun and games until someone dies?"
Well, someone did. And I dare say that she's not going to be the last.~Jim
The Midnight Poster posted a comment on Saturday 24th February 2007 4:10am
Another great chapter. I'm really curious as to Luna's response to all of Harry's messages.
JBern replied:
Poor Harry isn't even sure that Luna took the journal to Hogwarts, or if she owled it to Dumbledore like she promised to do.~Jim
DrT posted a comment on Saturday 24th February 2007 3:59am
-whine whine whimper -- that was a short chapter for you. More more more!
Still, an excellent chapter.
"T"
JBern replied:
To go further would have been to marginalize Maria's death. I thought by using the letters to bookend the chapter would really highlight the change in tempo.~Jim
duke_bonez posted a comment on Saturday 24th February 2007 3:40am
Nice. Let me rephrase that: BLOODY AWESOME!
Good symmetry starting/ending on a letter. I wonder how Luna is doing? Has she consulted Dumbledore? At what point? What does the homecrowd think of Bill's and Harry's Amazing Adventure?
The sleep deprivation is starting to get to them. How's the whole sleep deal affecting the goblins anyway, I forget did you say they were somewhat immune?
What will they do now? Go back down into Gringotts and see what was behind the trap? Take the Dark Sheep-Fucker Lord's word for it? Check out the town hall for any new statues? (possibly a table with a muggle strapped on it with a house-elf doing the torture and the centaur looking on with grim satisfaction as a white masked wizard stands in the background)
The expedition is hurting bad with Maria gone and half the team out of commission for one reason or another and sleep deprivation really starting to set in.
Oh. Boy. is Bill going to be pissed when he comes around again. He got tricked into another trap.
Goblin conspiracy.....I wonder. I mean I seriously doubt they'd have anything to do with High Lord Sheep-Banger himself, but I also doubt that they would mind overly much if Phoenix Expedition was to mysteriously disappear before they could claim their share of the loot.....And down here in the City of the Damned no one would think twice about annoying bunch foreign wizards disappearing. Hell some of them might thank the Goblins if they were to find out that Phoenix Expeditions disappeared.
The way things are going they are going to have to pull Collin out - can't have him going berserk, they have too many other things to worry about. But can they spare him? They barely survived the Bone-Golem-Thing as is and now they are down one Curse-Breaker. Can they really afford to lose a Hit-Wizard? Plus Bill is out of commission for what? Days? A week? They can't afford to sit idle while he recovers, not with sleep deprivation setting in and no supply route in sight.
Hmmm. How does Hack stack up to Harry's Golem? I mean if both were to play, say, plunk, who would win? Or fisticuffs? Or bash that inferi?
Things are looking grim and the team might consider scrapping the mission - except that Bill & Harry know they can't afford to. Will there be mutiny?
Hmmm, I wonder if Dark-Lords-R-Us (the man for all your Dark Sheep Lovin' Needs) left any wards around the place. We know portkeys work (it'd be kinda interesting to see that rotting dragon head drop out of thin air on some unsuspecting explorer). Does apparition?
Oh sooo good. So many possibilities. So little time. GIMME MORE! =].
Curse Breaker!Harry.
JBern replied:
Glad you liked the format of the chapter. It's all fun and games until someone dies isn't it?
Any responses from England will have to wait for the Goblins to fix the transfer platform. That is if they aren't really trying to kill off Phoenix Expeditions? Ah the delightful uncertainty of it all....
Hack would be more than a match for the sluggish golem at this point. As Harry becomes more proficient at casting it we'll see.
Glad you liked it.~Jim
warpwizard posted a comment on Saturday 24th February 2007 3:38am
Good stuff. I like how you've adjusted the difficulty levels. You make things hard, but let the characters be full-out wizards and have lots of power and options.
I can't wait to see what happens next. :)
JBern replied:
Zombies get rather blah after a while don't they? There is still plenty of action to come. Hang on tight...
Jim
Sean Dillon posted a comment on Saturday 24th February 2007 2:53am
Damn. Rough day for Harry and crew. He should have spoken up when he felt things didn't match up to the Riddle he knows.
JBern replied:
Yeah he should have. He'll probably feel a bit of guilt on that one...~Jim
kainboa posted a comment on Saturday 24th February 2007 10:50am
JBern replied: