Crys posted a comment on Saturday 2nd December 2006 5:59am

> Hack’s dick hurt.
*blink* *laugh* Oh, poor Hack :)

First time I've read this story. Starts out kinda odd, but then that's the point. Picks up and turns into a fascinating tale after that.

I do like your version of animagery (animage? animagus?) training. Your differences between Native American and European magical schools of thought are interesting reading.

Not so sure I like the whole Karina situation. Your call on that one, though. Good sub-plot if nothing else.

JBern replied:

Thanks for taking time out to both read and review.   Chapter 15 is at 6000 words and I should be finishing it by tomorrow evening.

Hack the Jungle Troll will be a permanent fixture for the rest of the story.   I had so much fun writing that line.    Almost a dozen people have reviewed and let me know that they had spewed either food or beverage, or broke up laughing at 2 in the morning waking people up in the house.   Part of this story revolves around good comedic timing.

I wanted to give different looks to various parts of the world.   I had a reviewer accuse me of doing the 'everything Hogwarts does is wrong' thing.   Not really, Thundercloud was quick to point out how the organized structure of European magic was well suited for combat.   There is also a taste of Magical South America where everyone gets 3 years.   Anything beyond that involves either private schooling, personal tutors or a guild like structure.

The Karina situation, train wreck that it is comes to it's dramatic conclusion in chapter 15.

I was surprised you didn't say anything about my take on Wards and Curse Breaking.   I am  just as proud of that as my depiction of animagery.

Jim

 

 

Rake posted a comment on Wednesday 22nd November 2006 9:09am

Do you know what I loved about this chapter? No it was not Kwan's cruell and unusual teaching methods (although that was extremely funny). I loved the fact that Harry fought and killed someone who he didn't hate or have isues with and I loved the joan of ark comment. It was a big breath of fresh air from all those batles with death eaters or evil order members were harry's side is indutably right. What is the difference between right and wrong when Harry may have killed the savior of a race...makes ya wander

JBern replied:

Thanks for the compliments.   Chapter 15 is in progress and I hope to have it done by the weekend.~Jim

Rictor posted a comment on Tuesday 21st November 2006 6:52pm

i like the premise of the story, and the first chapter, but the use of the second person perspective became too confusing for me about 2 paragraphs into the second chapter. now i understand you don't want to chage it right now, but i was wondering if you might be willing to go back and rewrite the story in first, or third person after you finished the whole thing. i understand if you decide not to as it is your choice,but i think it would be much easier to read, and such an interesting story should be read by all.

JBern replied:

More than likely, the answer is no.   I like the use of second person in this.   Some have said, that it wouldn't lose anything if I used first person.   I actually disagree.   I think that second person only adds to the quirky charm of this story.   Most say they get used to the style by the third or fourth chapter, so it may not be for everyone.   The ones who do read it, seem to appreciate it more.~Jim

Louis IX posted a comment on Tuesday 21st November 2006 11:03am

Jolly good that was! Suitably impressed I was. Completely knackered I am now. On the furthering of this story my best wishes you have.

JBern replied:

Thank you very much.   I am glad you are enjoying the story.   One of my favorite movies of all time was the original Airplane.   Even today I can watch it and still catch a joke that I have never heard before.   I like dark humor in a story and since the pov is all from the inside of Harry's mind, I figured he should be a sarcastic little so and so.   I know if I went through everything he did, I'd be a bit jaded.~Jim

Michael Foerster posted a comment on Thursday 16th November 2006 3:23am

In short words: LOL, esp. Kwan's comments on "Mexican cursebreaker’s used underwear"!!
Thanks.

JBern replied:

Kwan has a gift for motivation doesn't he?   I am glad you are enjoying the story.   Next chapter will probably have to wait until after Thanksgiving as I am trying to get chapter 26 of my other story finished, but I can't wait to get   back to this one.   So much mayhem awaits!~Jim

Michael Foerster posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 10:36pm

Oh, there's soo many things to laugh at and over!
The "Looney" act was the best inside joke created, that I've ever read about in HP-fanfiction.
( Cant't wait to see Dumbie's face after he send Luna her Head-Girl badge in the summer-hols, and then sees her walking in on the welcome feast with only the badge on....LOL )
Thanks.

JBern replied:

I've read so many different versions of Luna.   Luna is a seer, a magical creature, half vampire, half werewolf....   What I have never read is that she is perfectly sane and having one over on Hogwarts.   The complete freedom to say whatever is on your mind!   Any Harry/Luna romance will take place in the sequel.   This is more about them building the foundation for a relationship.~Jim

Manatheron posted a comment on Wednesday 15th November 2006 6:09pm

HAHAHAHAHA

Oh this is Awesome! You are an Excellent addition to the site, and I can't wait to go over some more of your work!

Eagerly Awaiting the Next chapter,
Manatheron

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Glad you got a kick out of the chapter.   Real life has slowed down my writing.   Combined with the Holidays it is slowing progress on both my stories, but I am almost done with chapter 26 of my other story and I can't wait to get back to this one.   The end of the Karina storyline is coming quickly.~Jim

Wookie13 posted a comment on Tuesday 14th November 2006 10:33am

This is a twisted chapter. I know that from the books that DD manipulates Harry's life a lot but still, I am soo pissed off at this chapter and what his "friends" do to Harry. For some reason I just don't see Hermoine doing that to Harry especially after she sticks with him through the triwizard tournament without question. Great chapter well written and I hope that this is the last of this stuff until back at Hogwarts.

JBern replied:

Sadly for explanations about his 'friends' you will have to wait for the sequel.   Hope you enjoy the rest.~Jim

Wookie13 posted a comment on Tuesday 14th November 2006 10:23am

Very interesting chapter. If I hadn't read all of this story as of date, I would be wondering why Harry isn't in school right now. I am very interested in how we get to this point later in this story. I would hope that it comes soon.
Otherwise the action is great and the fact that Harry is doing the impossible is just what I like in HP fanfiction. Not that he has super powers, just that he is showing his talent that nobody know about once again.

JBern replied:

I have almost caught the chapter back to the events of chapter 1.    I am within striking distance.   I think you will appreciate his growth and development in the story.~Jim

Riven posted a comment on Tuesday 14th November 2006 2:02am

LMAO kwan deffinetly has some cruel teaching methods but i find this story to be absolutley wonderful. its funny but serious and it has enough emotional angst to fufill that requirement. and i deffinetly approve of the luna harry ship, anywho please update soon.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   I work hard to maintain a careful balance between snarky inner dialogue, action and adventure.   Enjoy~Jim

cyberpurple posted a comment on Monday 13th November 2006 10:56am

I love Kwan in this and I really want to know what happens next particularly when/if he goes back to hoggy hogwarts. oh and any Bill - Mrs Weasley scene where she finds out he had Harry with her would be priceless too. Just found all of your work when you joined this site and both of your stories are great!

JBern replied:

He won't be back to Hogwarts until the sequel, but I think you'll enjoy it.   Glad you are enjoying the story.~Jim

PerfesserN posted a comment on Monday 13th November 2006 8:34am

Speaking as a professional educator I would call Kwan's teaching technique "discovery teaching," and yes, duct tape can be a wonderful teaching tool. Let your mind wander around that for a bit. . .
I am hoping Karina and Chico have a decent, non-fatal solution in the near future. I like having them around.

JBern replied:

Who doesn't love a "hands on" approach to education?   We all know that duct tape is the most magical substance in the universe.   The Karina story arc pretty much concludes next chapter.   I make no promises other than it is important to the story.~Jim

PerfesserN posted a comment on Monday 13th November 2006 6:51am

I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything as I read the last few lines of this one, it would have taken hours to get the liquid off the monitor and out of the keyboard! Another great zing at the end. Keep em' coming, we'll keep reading and reviewing!

JBern replied:

A few brave and honest souls have admitted choking and snorting their beverages.   I consider it a punchline well delivered.   Glad you enjoyed~Jim

PerfesserN posted a comment on Monday 13th November 2006 5:57am

Whoa, what a title for a story/song/poem; "I was never scared. The dragon was chasing you." Excellent installment. Looking forward to many more!

JBern replied:

I am glad you liked Thundercloud's closing line.   I hope you enjoyed my unusual take on becoming an Animagus.~Jim  

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Monday 13th November 2006 5:25am

No one has ever written Harry making friends with a troll that I've read. Extra points for originality.

Harry's rearguard battle was excellent.

Bowtruckle animagus form - snort!

Cheers!

JBern replied:

Thanks.   I was also happy to make Harry part of the rearguard with the 5 goblins who were left behind and the smallest of the 4 trolls.   Yes Harry was captain of the B-Team.   Hack will be a permanent fixture in the story from here on out.~Jim

Omagic posted a comment on Monday 13th November 2006 2:31am

I continue to love the hell out of this story! I'm really glad you joined ffa.net, would have never found this jewel without it. Great, great stuff sir!

Thanks,

Omagic

JBern replied:

Thank you.   I am glad you are enjoying the story so much.   This week, I am doing chapter 26 of my other story, but I can't wait to get back to this one.~Jim

Cholera posted a comment on Monday 13th November 2006 1:33am

Really love it ! So much fun !

JBern replied:

Glad you are enjoying the story.   Next chapter the Karina story thread comes to a train wreck of a conclusion.~Jim

Lufio posted a comment on Sunday 12th November 2006 7:02pm

Heh. Kwan is EVIL! I pity "James". Not that it would stop me from laughing at him though.

Also, there were several instances where the story had technical difficulties. The paragraph following a spell name got duplicated in italics four times.

-
"Vertexicis!" A strong gust of wind sends the crossbow bolts off their mark. It was strong enough to send several goblins and smaller worgs back into the underbrush. Note to self — Make more food that Thundercloud likes. Bribe him to teach more elemental magic.

A strong gust of wind sends the crossbow bolts off their mark. It was strong enough to send several goblins and smaller worgs back into the underbrush. Note to self — Make more food that Thundercloud likes. Bribe him to teach more elemental magic.
-

-
"Episkey!" The basic first aid spell closes the bleeding wound. Blood isn’t flowing anymore, mostly it is just oozing now. Hack is in trouble! The last bear is on his chest swiping at his face and he’s taken some spell damage from the wizard.

The basic first aid spell closes the bleeding wound. Blood isn’t flowing anymore, mostly it is just oozing now. Hack is in trouble! The last bear is on his chest swiping at his face and he’s taken some spell damage from the wizard.
-

-
"Abrumpo per Incendia!" It’s time for a fire whip. You lash it across its front legs. The bear rears howling in anger and you bring the whip across its chest. It staggers and you manage a lucky shot wrapping the whip around the creature’s neck. Death claims it quickly.

It’s time for a fire whip. You lash it across its front legs. The bear rears howling in anger and you bring the whip across its chest. It staggers and you manage a lucky shot wrapping the whip around the creature’s neck. Death claims it quickly.
-

-
"Crucio!" Thanks to Kwan, it’s the one you have the most experience with and though good old Bella once told you that righteous anger isn’t enough, you’ve had a chance to stockpile some additional hatred and anger in the interim. On this day, in this moment, against this foe, it is more than enough.

Thanks to Kwan, it’s the one you have the most experience with and though good old Bella once told you that righteous anger isn’t enough, you’ve had a chance to stockpile some additional hatred and anger in the interim. On this day, in this moment, against this foe, it is more than enough.
-

JBern replied:

Nah something strange happened to the html.   It wasn't there initially and I just went back and corrected it.   I used the same html to load the chapter up to ficwad and it didn't occur there.   I'll probably have to mention it to Jeconais.

Kwan isn't evil per se, but he is very effective at what he does.~Jim

millercommamatt posted a comment on Sunday 12th November 2006 5:49pm

I just laughed so loud I woke my wife. You know why.

JBern replied:

Whoops!   You must have been laughing so hard you double posted!~Jim

millercommamatt posted a comment on Sunday 12th November 2006 5:49pm

I just laughed so lound I woke my wife. You know why.

JBern replied:

Well please extend my humble apologies to the missus.   A good night's sleep is very improtant.   I suppose I need to start including something in the disclaimers.   Glad you enjoyed it.~Jim