Viridian posted a comment on Saturday 11th November 2006 6:56am

That's *really* nasty. I'm amazed that they seemingly got everyone to go along with it. Or did some of them get 'adjusted' as well?

JBern replied:

Good question.   You never see Ron in the story.   His motivation is assumed, but never confirmed.   We'll sse his 'friends' again inthe sequel. ~Jim

Meteoricshipyards posted a comment on Saturday 11th November 2006 6:53am

Welcome to ffa! Congratulations!

Good fight. You make them interesting.

I get the feeling that Harry will be using the tracking charm to rescue Chico. I'm getting the feeling that that whole thing will turn out badly.

Bowtruckle - cute.

I'm still enjoying your story. I am looking forward to Dumbledore's & the other Weasley's getting theirs when he gets back (if he goes back).

Thanks for writing.

Tom A.

JBern replied:

Your instincts are great as usual.   I still want to see more of your stories.   Glad you enjoy the fight scene.   I try my best to make them as interesting as possible.

And what is wrong with at Bowtruckle Animagus?

Jim

cmatbmed posted a comment on Saturday 11th November 2006 6:49am

What a great chapter. Glad to see you came over to ffa.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   It's great to be here.   Glad you enjoyed the chapter.   Next chapter in 2 weeks.

Hermetic Alchemist posted a comment on Saturday 11th November 2006 5:50am

I LOVE Kwan's objectionable teaching methods!!

What a great story!

HA

JBern replied:

Thank you for the review!   Kwan is a special breed of mentor isn't he?   Thanks for appreciating the story for the way I wrote it. ~Jim

jgkitarel posted a comment on Saturday 11th November 2006 4:53am

*snort* You actually manage to make this a combinations of sarcastic and humorous, while keeping the overall tone serious. That's not an easy balance to maintain.

Good job, I haven't laughed at so much humor in fic that managed to be serious at the same time in quite a while.

JBern replied:

Well thank you for the compliments.   Harry's mind is a terrible thing to waste.   I wanted to go deep into his mind and let the readers follow along with his development.

How many people would willingly sign up for the Kwan school of Magic?~Jim

ShadeHawk posted a comment on Saturday 11th November 2006 4:34am

I wonder why they didn't use Dragon's Breath shotgun round (the effect similar to small flamethrower) against Inferi?

JBern replied:

Oops!   I covered this in my last response.~Jim

ShadeHawk posted a comment on Saturday 11th November 2006 4:12am

First, quick note about Kwan method of teaching silent casting. I really, really hope that he would provide Harry with instructions (like to some extent with Apparating), and not use "Snape's method for teaching Occlumency".

I like "Bungle in the Jungle" very much: both the second person style, and actual plot. While I didn't like "To Fight the Coming Darkness" plot and break as many cliches as you can attitude, I liked the way that it portrayed characters: both good and bad sides of them, their motives etc. - I hope that it would be the way in this story with respect to characters we left behind: Dumbledore, Weasleys, Hermione,...

Will Harry be learning non-accidental wandless magic (besides Apparition and changing into Animagus)? A'propos silent casting: in HBP it was described as using invocation only in your mind. Will Harry be able to understand cats (and perhaps other animals) "body language" even in humand form? (I wholehearily recommend BBC programme about domestic cats' behaviour as a basis for this; it explains for example why cats usually hop into the lap of person who doesn't like cats ;-) Would he learn about proper, not field version of cursebreaking (for example surrounding warding rune by counter-runes).

A bit of nit-picking: "runes" (or rather runic alphabet) in Mundane world are letters formerly used to write Germanic languages (or Hungarian language). So talking about non-european runes (at least in Mundane world) hasn't much sense. On the other hand it looks like runes in magical world are just another way to use magic, like "instant" spells using wands (using pseudo-Latin invocations; I wonder if New Orlean wizards uses pidgin-French for casting), or like potions, or like rituals. One uses symbols (glyphs, sigils, seals) to cast reactive magic (BTW. portkeys are example of non-runed reactive magic). Here Chineese characters, or ingenious Korean alphabet Hangul, or even some mathematical geometrical symbols (joining runic way of casting with arithmancy) might be used.

I wonder if all wizards uses the same focus: wand, and not staffs (with crystal on top instead of material within), rings (with stone) or alike.

Chaingun... the only way to use Vulcan rotary-minigun by single person would be to use serious enchantments (Technomagic) to reduce recoil and to load it. Odinary grenades with banishing charm would be a good idea. Or ordinary or magical version of Claymores.

Enough rambling...

Thank you very much for this wonderfull story. Keep up good writing!

--
ShadeHawk

JBern replied:

Wow!   Thanks for all the insightful commentary.   As for the Dragon's breath, it was the same reason they weren't supposed to use fire spells.   That'll pop up in the next couple of chapters.

With only Harry's perspective, you'll only really know what's going on in his mind.   It's doubtful that you'll ever completely understand the motivations of the others.   I don't know how much I'll go into wandless magic.   I'm pretty busy in this one with Animagery and Cursebreaking.  

Magic is and should be different all around the world.   You already saw Kwan's Origami bombs, Goblin Worg, and Native American Animagery.   I'll try to work new stuff into it, but not at the cost of bogging down the plot.~Jim

DrT posted a comment on Saturday 11th November 2006 2:50am

I'll be interested to see how you deal with Harry's semi-girlfriend/mistress, but I hope you keep this H/L, and continue the story on to deal Dumbles & the Weasleys. Don't be TOO harsh on Hermione. I'll likely only review on one site from now on, whichever I read first.

"T"

JBern replied:

That train wreck is coming...   It's filed under H/Luna, but that's more for the sequel.   Same goes for any treatment of Dumbledore, The Weasleys and Hermione.   I promise not to be any harsher to Hermione than necessary...

Jim

Jim_xinu posted a comment on Saturday 11th November 2006 2:47am

Kwan is cool. Cruel, but cool. :-)

I know the Karina plot line is important to the story, but everytime she comes up, I get that 'I know something horrible is going to happen' feeling. I hated the entire movie Titanic because of that feeling. :-)

On the down side, this chapter has a lot of little typo and edit errors. None bad enough to prevent understanding, but there's enough of them to be noticeable.

I'm glad to see you over here on fanficauthors.net, congrats! I'll review over here most of the time now.

Great chapter, thanks for sharing it with us.

--Jimm

JBern replied:

I'll go back and look for the errors you mention.   You're right to get a sinking feeling about what's coming with Karina.   I was seriously considering deviating from my use of Bungle in the Jungle's lyrics for Chapter titles in favor of using Locomotive Breath for the train wreck that is coming.~Jim

ShadeHawk posted a comment on Thursday 9th November 2006 9:55pm

The trolls continue to stagger forward against the wards. They reach the edge of the incapacitation layer. The ropes and chains spring out of the ground, but rebound harmlessly against their rough-hewn wooden shields. Time to see how well you can spellchain. Kwan taught you a simple three-spell spellchain to use, blasting curse, severing charm and bludgeoner. All the movements basically flow into each other.

"Tonare!" Swish high, swish to center, jab directly at target.

And from this paragraph on everything is in italic. Could you fix this error in formatting?

JBern replied:

Must be a glitch.   The chapter appears fine on my pc going to ffa.   I'll check it from another pc and verify.   What web browser are you using?~Jim

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Thursday 9th November 2006 6:07am

I really like your Luna. She's a great Luna for Harry and I can see them being happy together thumbing their noses at the rest of the Wizarding world.

Once again, I am even more impressed with your creativity with runes and warding.

I can't get out of my mind the idea that Bill knew a little more about what was happening with Harry than he let on when they first met in your story at Grimmauld Place. I don't know why I think that. In my speculation, he did not approve of it, but there was nothing he could do to stop it so he didn't try. This will cause a little bit of trouble later on, but the two will overcome it.

Just my speculation.

Marvelous tale!

JBern replied:

Thanks.   Well Bill did manage to accumulate an awful lot of information about Harry in a little time.   So that is a distinct possibility.   Dumbledore was using him as a courier   to the Goblins.   It's possible he was doing things for Remus in his position as executor of the Black trust.~Jim

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Thursday 9th November 2006 5:26am

The "Robin Hood Movie" comments were priceless. Your snide and sarcastic sense of humor is delicious.

Just a great tale!

JBern replied:

I'm still trying to figure out where to work in the Die Hard reference.~Jim

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Thursday 9th November 2006 4:27am

The creativity and complexity you've put in the animagus transition and the wards/runes development is stirring. It inspires me to work even harder on my Spell Mongering concepts in my own stories.

Thanks for the motivation!

JBern replied:

Now I am blushing.   By the way, I don't know if I have ever left a review for your stories, but I have really enjoyed Spell Mongering.   I like the way you have the establishment purposefully trying to tear down anyone who can monger.   It is a fascinating concept.

I hope you enjoy how his animal form defines everything in terms of meat.   You'll also see some distinction between Native American and European magic.   You'll see that it isn't better, just different.   Though Harry at the moment is negatively predisposed towards anything he has learned at Hogwarts.

Jim

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Thursday 9th November 2006 3:28am

The runic work for warding continues to amaze me with your creativity. Growing up Harry continues apace and you have Bill doing a fine job of enough-but-not-too-much.

I am mightily impressed and definitely glad you are now on this site.

Cheers!

JBern replied:

Wow!   Thanks.   Your compliments mean quite a bit.   I think you'll be pleased by what's ahead in the next few chapters.~Jim

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Thursday 9th November 2006 2:13am

This is a clever game you've created.

Well done.

JBern replied:

It's basically a magical version of Dodgeball.   I have the rules posted in my ff.net profile, if you feel like you might ever want to use it.   As I said in my other story, there seems to be so few choices for recreation in the HP universe.   You would think with magic that there would be so many more options.~Jim

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Thursday 9th November 2006 1:13am

This is an amazingly clever and creative story. I cannot imagine why I never started on it before.

The genius of your master construct of runes and wards is such an admirable piece of writing.

Great Fun!

JBern replied:

That was the beauty of it!     Most stories just   have Dumbles, Bill or Hermione setting all these wards.   I started to wonder how do wards work.   Hopefully, this will inspire many Cursebreaking Harry stories to come.~Jim

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Thursday 9th November 2006 12:37am

Your creation of runes and warding is brilliant, compelling, and delightful to read. It makes me want to say that this IS the way wards and runes operate.

Are you creating this in your mind, or does this spring from any other work you've read? I don't mean to sound like I'm asking if you've plagerized - no, not at all. I just wonder if something else inspired you?

This is amazingly brilliant.

JBern replied:

I've done a good deal of reading over the years, but I am reasonably certain that it is mine.   At least the whole charging runes powered by ley lines, feeding power to controlling runes which power the warding scheme.   Feel free to use it in any of your stories.~Jim

Mard posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 6:42pm

So far this has been a very enjoyable story. Very believable too. I think it's the first time I've read a story that covered ward construction as completely as yours. Please keep writing more!!!

JBern replied:

When I started this story, I wanted Indiana Jones mixed with a bit of a first person shooter game and a touch of inner monologue like a 'R'  rated version of that TV show 'The Wonder Years'.   So far it is coming off better than expected.   Thanks for the review.~Jim

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 2:49pm

The education of Harry is most interesting. Bil is wise as a 'big brother,' and you're writing this very well.

Brilliant!

JBern replied:

I've always liked Bill and Charlie out of the Weasleys.   I actually don't like Fred and George, believe it or not.   Three cheers for more Naked Veela!~Jim

Aaran St Vines posted a comment on Wednesday 8th November 2006 2:09pm

Very interesting that you make Dumbledore manipulative and then give him a good reason to use Harry's money. I wonder if you'll make us a little more sympathetic with Ron, Hermione, and Ginny.

Thoght provoking.

JBern replied:

Like I said, many of his 'friends' motivations won't come to light until the sequel.   This story is tenatively planned to end with his return to England.~Jim