By JBern
Reviews
Logan_MacLeod posted a comment on Tuesday 2nd June 2009 7:00am
This story is just awesome. Please continue it. HJ is our hero
Crys posted a comment on Tuesday 2nd June 2009 6:47am
Sorry I didn't review the last chapter. Never got the e-mail for that or this one.
Helluva fight scene.
Good speech by Harry.
> I am not Dumbledore. My side will not fight your master like Dumbledore did. This war will be different than the last one.
Good.
> A safe haven for Death Eaters unwilling to serve their festering pile of semen gargling afterbirth of a master has been opened at #12 Grimmauld Place in London. Accommodations are somewhat creepy, customer service is downright awful, and rent is one galleon per day per family, payable to the Sirius Black sexual favors fund at Gringotts.
The Hat wrote that, didn't he?
> pretending to be a minor league villain."
*blink* Like a "D-Class", maybe?
> like a Marauder
*evil cackle* Oh, looking forward to the sequel.
Thanks for the good story.
WorldOfLilyEvans posted a comment on Monday 1st June 2009 7:46pm
I loved this story from beginning to end! I can hardly wait for the sequel to come out.
Bob Aragon posted a comment on Monday 1st June 2009 7:21pm
Correction:
That's Fawkes in To Fight The Coming Darkness, not Thank You Miss Bones. My mistake, I'm going over old-crow's old fics, sorry!
You know what would be cool to see? That basilisk venom is not only poisonous but flammable as well! If Harry were to wreath the Sword of Gryffindor in gubraithian fire, it would be corrosive, poisonous AND burning at the level of Fiendfyre, what with the venom boost! Bwahahahahah!
cheers,
akela95
Bob Aragon posted a comment on Monday 1st June 2009 7:11pm
You've really laid down an interesting first story with T.L.I.L. I'm surprised that you killed off Dumbledore so early but then I notice that that's in keeping with the kinds of twists that you like to put into your stories. Good job!
Love Hat! lol. With his golem body, he's like a more erudite version of Hack. rofl.
I notice that you kept the possibility of the Deathly Hallows plot-device open with your disposal of Karkaroff. You never mentioned that Snape took Dumbledore's wand but it seems to be implied. They never recovered the elder wand from Albus' naked corpse so TMR must have it as a replacement for his own wand that Fawkes destroyed.
Speaking of Fawkes, I love that you depict him as not-quite the poster child of the light. You're right, a vengeful, immortal firebird bearing a grudge is not something anyone should strive to have. First, as a newly released force of chaos and destruction in T.Y.M.B., now this! I really like your characterizations of him.
Any plans to incorporate the Greek mobster angle, what with the Manos Family and their debt to Harry? You did good depictions of a South-american storyline in B.I.T.J. and a Russian/East European storyline in T.M.L., maybe a Mediterranean flavor for the sequel? It could tie-in with any visits to Fleur, say, French-Riviera and Greek islands? As a dueling winner, didn't Harry win a summer of instruction from Athena's dueling-champion uncle?
Happily expecting the next installment!
kaptin_hippy posted a comment on Monday 1st June 2009 6:55am
Bravo. A truly masterful work by an incredible author. I can't wait for the sequel.
JBern replied:
Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it.~Jim
Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Monday 1st June 2009 6:19am
I'm slightly horrified and yet respectful of how like JKR you are in your ability to kill characters not nobly in war but from sheer stupid chances and evil. As always, your fight scenes are well thought out, terrifying realistic and aboveall, hugely enjoyably dangerous.
Somehow I want to say that the casual dismissal of so many main characters, good and evil, is a cheap way of ratcheting up the tension to breaking point, but it's not. It's a carefully thought out honest response to the world you've created and as such it's brilliant. The darkness of the action is carefully restrained - we're terrified but not revolted.
You a Trekkie? (OK, so having seen the recent film, the prosperity line sparked it off in me.)
Loved Albus's letter to Harry about Fawkes. Unlike so many "Harry gets a phoenix" fics where Harry just seems to get one because he's Harry, you get a real sense that Fawkes feels loyalty to him personally in this.
LOL at the Habaneros thing. I think the first is right in "Either the universe bows to the will of Hermione Granger". Brilliant line. I also absolutely loved Harry's eulogy for Dumbledore, particularly his thoughts on what Dumbledore would wish to be said at the time.
Harry's methods of fighting this war are very true to the character you have created in HJ. I have to say I shuddered at the cow sacrifices. Really excellent story. I think you know how much I've enjoyed it but I just felt like saying it one last time before I go into Lie withdrawal until you decide to continue this:
UTTERLY FANTASTIC! I LOVED IT! THE HAT ROCKS! WOW!
If multiple exclamation marks weren't known as a sign of mental instability (see Pratchett), there would be a couple of hundred after each sentence. This was just amazing. Thank you.
*cough*More Hat next time - that body could be put to so many amusing uses*cough*
JBern replied:
I channelled a little bit of To Fight the Coming Darkness here. The only DE that wasn't killed or captured was Snape. Poppy only lived because one of my prereaders said it would suck if she didn't.
I'm not a true hardcore Trekkie (and haven't seen the new one yet), although this weekend at ConCarolinas I got to meet some of those guys from www.startreknewvoyages.com. They were a real interesting group and their webisodes easily approach the quality of the orignial series they try to emulate.
Maybe I'll pick up a book on screenplay writing and try to pitch them a script. Something with the Gorn in it - life needs more lizards.
Funniest thing at the convention was my publisher picking up a bumper sticker. It was 667 - Neighbor of the Beast. For some reason that just cracked me up.
Next up is Inner Eye #2. Hope you enjoy.
Rebel Goddess posted a comment on Monday 1st June 2009 5:42am
Got to laugh at Hermione's gossip summary. LOL at Riddle being half-troll and his circle not caring.I like that Harry isn’t really sure if he’s still Harry any more when discussing it with Hermione. LOL at his eleventh year at Hogwarts. Monkey’s favourite line, I have to say, grossed me out, but so happy to see the Hat back on form I don’t mind it. I agree with HJ’s assessment of Alice’s speech — very good. Loved the potion of complete and utter chaos. Could be extremely fun.
The Asphyxiater curse sounds seriously nasty. Nicely inventive too. It’s so true about the cheap shot. Excellent finisher. I’m so glad the next chapter is waiting for me.
JBern replied:
Well thanks as always. I appreciate the kind words. More on your review of 24.
Meteoricshipyards posted a comment on Monday 1st June 2009 3:05am
Wow. Just wow. You do action so well.
Was not expecting the battle with Voldie, nor the deaths of Dumbledore and Remus.
Fawkes being a vengeful character is also totally unique.
Looking forward to more of your work.
Tom A.
JBern replied:
Thanks Tom. I appreciate it. I hope my next offerings will impress you as much.
Jack-A-Roe posted a comment on Monday 1st June 2009 2:25am
That was a spectacular chapter.
I thought the fight scenes were done very well.
I suppose Dumbledore had to die so HJ could continue his quest on his own.
I like that you have made Harry more pro-active in his approach to known death eaters. That should be entertaining.
Looking forward to more of your stories.
JBern replied:
Thanks for the review. I have most of the sequel planned out, but need to sit down and really outline it before I even consider getting started.
Celexs posted a comment on Sunday 31st May 2009 2:11pm
great story, i really look forward to reading the squel. I like the dark well more grey twist in harry. The ends justify the means in a war like this.
Cel
JBern replied:
Thank you for the review. I hope the sequel will be even more impressive.
Kathleen posted a comment on Sunday 31st May 2009 4:53am
"Like a Marauder" ... YAHOO!!
Come on, this is the way it SHOULD be fought. You can't leave it there! Keep going! PLEASE!
JBern replied:
Sorry, I have other stories that must be finished/written first. All good things in time...
Musings of Apathy posted a comment on Sunday 31st May 2009 4:25am
Jim, you just amaze me. You have developed an impeccable work ethic for writing and have become quite prolific as a result. The quality you put out is quite good and always entertaining. Thank you for sharing.
Mike (MoA)
P.S. You might do a search for the word "passed" and find one instance where "past" would be correct instead. Homonyms are not our friends.
JBern replied:
Thanks for the grammar check and all your other reviews, Mike.
Mark Willson posted a comment on Sunday 31st May 2009 3:36am
Aaaaah!! End of the year?! Crap I'll have to read this at least three times to make up for that. Brilliant story, brilliant ending; gasping for more. Good job.
JBern replied:
Thanks for the review. I hope this one stands the test of rereading and that you enjoy it while I finish my other stories.
Jim
morriganscrow posted a comment on Saturday 30th May 2009 11:57pm
BRAVO!
A tour de force, a great re-interpretation, a bloody good read!
Good luck with the novel, and I look forward to the sequal of this, and your other fics.
JBern replied:
Thanks for this and all your other reviews. I hope my works both fanfic and original continue to impress you.
Silver Griff posted a comment on Saturday 30th May 2009 12:02pm
It's great!!! I loved how you worked this story.
It gives a more somber but real view of how things work; the only way to fight darkness is to strike back.
Harry's job is to put the fear of god in all the would be dark lords and dark magicians and i admired the way you work it in your story
JBern replied:
Thank you for the compliment. I tried to picture a realistic way HJ would handle such a war.~Jim
ernichol posted a comment on Saturday 30th May 2009 11:09am
well that was epic. i was very emotionally invested in the characters you created, not just the ones you borrowed, so congratulations on that. all of your work is very well thought out and polished, this being no exception. im curious what direction the sequel will go in though. you have already done your gritty war piece, will lie i've lived 2 be something similar to that or a new direction entirely. not expecting an answer, just food for though. great work and good luck on your new book
JBern replied:
Thank you very much for the compliment about emotional investment. That's probably the biggest payoff a fanfic writer can ask for. I really don't have a firm direction for the sequel yet. I need to start outlining it soon.
kb0 posted a comment on Saturday 30th May 2009 10:12am
That was very interesting. It's a shame that Albus died, but at least it makes sense the way you wrote it -- much better than what JKR did. I look forward to the sequel. Thanks for sharing this story.
Kevin
JBern replied:
Thanks for reading it. Glad you liked my version better than the original!
Alex Mcpherson posted a comment on Saturday 30th May 2009 3:30am
AWWWWESOME!!!
okay, less fanboy talk...
yes, it was indubitably better than the - okay so I can't talk 'posh'. twas better than canon.
Miles better.
Seemed to jump a fair bit. Thought you were going to go for 26 chapters?!
JBern replied:
Thanks. Originally, I planned for the backstabbing betrayal in chapter 25 at the tenth task, but it seemed needlessly long and cumbersome. LV's plan was easier to accomplish during the dueling round. Hope that makes sense.
The 10th task was going to be a capture the flag/king of the hill style affair where all 5 were trying to leave the battlefield with the highest point value flag with the others attempting to stop them and realize their own goal.
schueltar posted a comment on Tuesday 2nd June 2009 7:57pm