By JBern
Reviews
Andrew2 posted a comment on Monday 30th June 2008 6:04pm
"Dance for me you hairless, sperm-burping monkey!"
Sheer, utter genius.
I shall be spending the next week trying to work that line in with a normal conversation with my boss.
Oh yes, I will indeed...
JBern replied:
In that case, I wish you luck in your next job after the boss fires you. :P
Glad you liked it.~Jim
Mesterio posted a comment on Monday 30th June 2008 6:02pm
God, you always end your chapters with a bang. Nice going with Ron, I should have expected him to fold as soon as he got near her.
JBern replied:
I figured I telegraphed it as soon as HJ invited Ron along.~Jim
Wolfric posted a comment on Monday 30th June 2008 5:51pm
Great chapter. I hope Hagrid doesn't get the shaft too bad. HJ did well against the dementors. I wonder if HJ will continue his schooling at Beaubattons? Thanks for writing. W.
JBern replied:
Thanks for the review. You'll have to wait for the rest of the story to see what happens in the sequel.~Jim
joeBob posted a comment on Monday 30th June 2008 5:46pm
Another outstanding chapter, thank you!
The dementor fight was good -- you never go for simple, eh? :)
Kwan and Jacob doing the dimensional hop? Was hoping you'd "borrow" some more DobbyElfLord characters. ;-) Or better yet, Hack will make an appearance?!
That socialist bilge about "the needs of the many" did NOT come from Star Trek. The screenwriters lifted it from some obscure hack, name of Charles Dickens. Aspiring writers might oughta know that. ;-)
JBern replied:
Simple is boring. The Hat and Hack in the same story would be too much. I wouldn't hold my breath.
HJ might not know that the line comes from Dickens. He'd be more likely to recall it from the Star Trek movies. :P
Jim
JVTazz posted a comment on Monday 30th June 2008 5:28pm
Hehehe amusing as all hell :)
JBern replied:
Thanks.~Jim
warpwizard posted a comment on Monday 30th June 2008 5:14pm
Nice finisher.
JBern replied:
Glad you liked it.~Jim
Darak1 posted a comment on Monday 30th June 2008 5:05pm
Excellent chapter, I must say I definitely prefer this story to the other one you have going :D
JBern replied:
Well hopefully I can change your mind with the next chapter of TML.~Jim
ken payne posted a comment on Monday 30th June 2008 4:55pm
Clamor! Clamor! Clamor!
It's almost a shame you made this a Fleur Fic, I like Aimee more and more as this goes on.
But the zag was priceless and I hope she says yes.
I like the scene with Dumbles a lot, bartering away Snape's future is amusing.
I will say it feels a little rushed at the end their, like you wanted to skip forward to get to the asking scene. We never really had much time to hear about Hermione and her performance. and what happened to 'Who's Sarah Underhill?'
While you've done an excellent job with the tasks and the action in this story, I'm a sucker for the interpersonal relationships so I can't wait for the Yule Ball:
1) I'm curious to see if Hermione is going with Vicky again. That will be an interesting evening and it would feel a little like she sold out, with her outrage at from the broom race.
2) Does Neville take Ginny. Especially after what her brothers did to him when he got a new wand and what he knows they did to poor Michael.
3) Does Katie and the more importantly Angelina have a fit when he sees Harry escorting the lovely Aimee.
4) Does Penny come as a reporter, and does she get to bring Ollie. I can imagine Harry telling Aimee the story of how he got the two of them together.
5) and without Harry, can Ron get a date?
So many questions I'll just have to Clamor! Clamor! Clamor!
JBern replied:
The Sarah Underhill part was what Dumbledore was referring to with the badges.
Ironically, Aimee was a Death Eater in my other story - To Fight the Coming Darkness.
1) Hermione has a different date to this Yule Ball.
2) Maybe. This Neville is already slightly different than the year 4 canon version. He has a new wand and is slowly gaining confidence.
3) Katie will be disappointed. Angelina ambivalent.
4) Penny and Ollie will be at the ball.
5) Ron will probably be able to get a date on his own, but HJ can still offer a few pointers.
Jim
infinity2x0 posted a comment on Monday 30th June 2008 4:46pm
This chapter was a delight and your ending was especially spectacular. The only criticism I can give is that during conversations, some more physical description may not be a bad thing, but only just some more. You've got gold on your hands and I Can't wait for the next chapter, good luck.
JBern replied:
Yeah, I could use some additional descriptions. TML 8 in 2 weeks. Lie 15 in 3-4 weeks.~Jim
Exarikun posted a comment on Monday 30th June 2008 4:42pm
nice chapter. very amusing ending. since you're aiming to get harry and fleur together in this story, you could have harry explain to fleur that he hadn't intended to put her on the spot like that and that he initially ment to ask her, but that would've crushed ron's spirits or something, so he asked aimee instead.
most likely, you won't do anything like that, but it would be a good way to go i think. he'd be honest about it, and fleur would appreciate that i think...
JBern replied:
HJ was following the mantra of Bros before Hos. Glad you enjoyed it.~Jim
Jearom posted a comment on Monday 30th June 2008 4:30pm
Great chapter. The dementor fight was great. I'm glad JBern kept it simple and had Fawkes bring HJ his wand. For a second when I realized the Hat was trapped in with the Champions I thought HJ was going to pull out the Sword of Gryffindor. I liked that he stuck with transfiguration as well instead of the overused super patronus.
The finger-pointing was great as well. Nice to see Amelia Bones portrayed realisticly instead of the fanon stand-by of being the only cool-headed department head.
What really took the cake for me was Harry knocking "Frosty the snow bitch down a peg or two."
Pure win.
JBern replied:
Yeah I wanted a version of Amelia that wasn't the ultra cool under pressure type. Best I can tell, no one guessed Fawkes. Thanks agian for all the reviews.~Jim
Magus posted a comment on Monday 30th June 2008 3:53pm
Update! Update!! Update!!!
Yes You were right, people claiming for an update.
I was partially right, I thought it was going to be an assasination atempt on a politician.
And Kwan and Collins, whats next?? Cursbreaker Sanchez and their friendly troll hack? I quite enjoyed this chapter, thanks for doing this so soon, I mean, Turn me loose last week, your original fiction wich I particularly liked, and now this? You are good at spoiling us.
Tanks for doing such a great job
JBern replied:
I must have ESP or something. Thanks for the comment on Reality Bites. As my original novel approaches release, I will do my best to keep you spoiled so you'll be inclined to put down your hard earned money.~Jim
drewz05 posted a comment on Monday 30th June 2008 3:48pm
One question, and you may have put it in your story but I've forgotten, how does Fleur know Bill already?
JBern replied:
Bill was speaking to her after the first round of duels.~Jim
crazyP posted a comment on Monday 30th June 2008 3:29pm
Your right we want more!!
HEhe it's impossible to be satisfied when you leave the chapter in such intersting places, like that, totally wasn't expecting it. Is Amy pretty?
Haha that was so cool, shows Harry is still in there but with James's confidence
Anyway you wrote a great chapter!!
JBern replied:
Thanks for reviewing. Amy is attractive, but not in Fleur's league.
Regards,
Jim
jeffstrauser@yahoo.com posted a comment on Monday 30th June 2008 3:26pm
Outstanding chapter!!!! *bows to you* Wow that was freaking amazing!!!! So will Fleur be asking Harry to the dance or will he be going with Aimee???? Will Harry win the tournament or will somebody else win???? Will the puzzle room be a large part of the chapter or will it be its own chapter???? Will somebody be going with Harry to the graveyard like what happened in the books???? Do keep up the outstanding work and update soon please!!!!:):):):)
JBern replied:
Thanks for another review. Ball dates will be taken care of next chapter, as will the puzzle room. The graveyard? Do you think so little of me? There will be no stinking graveyard in this story.~Jim
Logan_MacLeod posted a comment on Monday 30th June 2008 3:24pm
Frosty the Snow Bitch!!!! man I love it. This has to be one of ht best stories I have read (and i have read alot of them) Keep up the good work
JBern replied:
Thanks.~Jim
Silo posted a comment on Monday 30th June 2008 3:05pm
nice cant wate to see what happens next hope to see an update relly soon i lvoe this fic
JBern replied:
TML chapter 8 in 2 weeks. Lie 15 in 3-4 weeks.~Jim
Greg2 posted a comment on Monday 30th June 2008 2:58pm
Classic, I didn't ever expect to see Jack Collins again. What's more, Kwan dueling with Dumbledore? Nice. I'm already looking forward to next chapter.
JBern replied:
Glad you liked it.~Jim
Jizzle posted a comment on Monday 30th June 2008 2:34pm
HJ is the man, no doubt about it. I loved how well he handled himself in the hellish situation at the beginning, but then it turned out the situation wasn't about HJ at all. That was a great touch. It makes the world feel more real, and it shows that HJ is in no danger of becoming a Mary Sue. When major conflicts happen in ways that don't revolve around the main character, it's a good sign that character isn't in danger of sueification. I hope that makes sense.
I loved the slight crossover with Bungle and TML. Kwan's a badass in any story.
I really look forward to seeing Severus Snape step down from being head of Slytherin. I hope he has to announce it in public, but if not, could you have him froth at the mouth? Please?
That ending scene was classic. The old bait and switch HJ pulled is almost cliche, and I could see it coming paragraphs away. That didn't make it any less sweet. Still, I hope HJ treats Aimee right. I actually kinda like her character, and if he just uses her to get to Fleur, well, that's scummy.
I greatly enjoyed the update, and I have to say maybe the first thing I said was wrong. Perhaps it is *you* and not HJ who is, in fact, the man. It's rare to see fanfic authors make self imposed deadlines, but you made this one with style. Thanks for sharing, and happy writing.
JBern replied:
Thanks for the compliemtns. I'm glad that even though you could see it coming, the ending was just as amusing. TML chapter 8 in 2 weeks. Lie 15 in 3-4 weeks.
Regards and thanks for the review.
Jim
dogbertcarroll posted a comment on Monday 30th June 2008 6:43pm
JBern replied: