MonkeyAxman1302 posted a comment on Saturday 30th May 2009 1:26am

Wow, wow, and double wow. For a story that only really started as quite a bit of fun this has got a little epic. That has to be as good as Bungle now. I really didn't see what you did to Dumbledore coming at all.

I liked how you played that scene, as you managed to get rid of Remus without he and Harry having a reconciliation but you now have the guilt Harry will have for not sorting things out.

The brother wands effect was nice to see and I liked how you didn't pull James out of the wand. Out of curiosity is that where the idea for the story came from?

Karkarov's treachery was superb, I really thought he was helping. I was reading on my small netbook and when I read the words "Avada Kedavra" I almost leapt out of my seat in shock. Truly great writing and pace there my friend.

I think the fight scenes were brutal and amazing I love how you write action.

I also was blown away by Harry's Eulogy for Dumbledore and it was actually believable as Harry isn't just a 14 year old kid anymore. You can believe that he could conceive something like that. It choked me up a bit to be honest in a way that Rowling failed to do when she killed off Dumbledore. She seemed to do that almost because she had to make Harry stand alone against Voldemort and I actually think you did that better.

My only criticism has to be for the Epilogue. At one point you mention that Fudge is trying to play down the danger and blaming Snape, Malfoy and Karkarov. Surely even he can't be stupid enough to think people will believe that? Two of the three he is pinning this on are already dead. Plus he heard the message from Voldemort to Harry through Dumbledore's mutilated body.

Thats another thing I loved about this. I always thought it odd that Voldemort only used a drop of Harry's blood to be reborn. You'd think for magic of that size you would need to drain someone of all there blood for it to work properly. So I liked how Dumbledore had been completely drained.

I also thought how a cool a pissed of Fawkes was. Burning down the Riddle house in his anger, now that is a good ally to have.

Thinks thats my biggest review for any of your fanfics, I think you should feel honoured! Lol! My only worry now is that I want the sequel of this before the others. Although I do want TML finished, although I'm slightly worried that was turning as dark as to fight ended up.

I will probably buy Dead Eye soon but I have quite a few books to read at the moment so it may take me a while to get to it. I'm quite looking forward to it though.

Thanks as always for writing and keeping me entertained.

Monkey

JBern replied:

It'll take a few weeks for Dead Eye to show up on Amazon UK.   Thank you for the long and flattering review.   I do appreciate it.

The story really came out of all those statements in canon and fanon where Snape says, "You're just like your father."   Well, what if he was?

LV is keeping a low profile.   Fudge is in his usual denial, but he doesn't want panic in the streets   We'll see how that develops in the sequel.

Say hi to RG for me.

MonkeyAxman1302 posted a comment on Saturday 30th May 2009 12:01am

Great chapter. I really like how you are wrapping this up.

Loved the "blow your load in malfoy and suck it back out" line, that really had me chuckling.

Thanks for writing.
Monkey

JBern replied:

You're a strange individual...

Lee Dickie posted a comment on Friday 29th May 2009 9:50pm

Cracking good end to part 1, if a bit surprising in how matters developed. Well done & thanks.

JBern replied:

Thank you.   I'm glad the story wasn't that predictable.

Infin1x posted a comment on Friday 29th May 2009 5:56pm

Considering I only barely got through the last book and haven't touched it since it would not be hard to improve upon that.

This chapter continues a standard you started in "To Fight..." your ability to in one chapter apologetically completely change not only the playing field but the whole game.

JBern replied:

Thank you for the compliment.   I don't think the sequel wil be a gorefest like TFtCD, but you never know.   Either way, I'm glad I could keep you thinking during the story.

Zicou posted a comment on Friday 29th May 2009 5:19pm

That was awesome !!!!!
I loved the "10 ways to keep fawkes happy", but it's sad that dumby died, because now Harry must take responsibilities so .. less fun, isn't it?

I can't wait to read more, and hope to read the sequel soon!
Continuuuuuuuuuuue,
Z.

JBern replied:

I thought people would enjoy the Fawkes angle.   Just wait to see what I have in store for Harry and Fawkes in the coming chapters of TML.

Rexnos posted a comment on Friday 29th May 2009 4:28pm

I'm so sad it's over. The Live I've Lived has been a breath of fresh air in a fandom that can get rather monotonous. I'll miss the realistic Harry/Fleur ship, the intriguing main character, the hardcore storyline, and most of all, the bad mouthed sorting hat.

I can't wait for Christmas... The first chapter of the sequel would be the best present ever...

JBern replied:

Don't be sad.   It just means that you can go back and reread it!   I'll see what I can do about Xmas.   No promises though.

Killedbykarma posted a comment on Friday 29th May 2009 2:50pm

VERY well done. An amazingly twisty and deadly end to a story filled with textual awesomeness. Once I actually have money I'll probably look into your novel too!

JBern replied:

You can pick it up on Smashwords for what you'd spend at a vending machine on a soda and some chips!

Thank you for the review.   Now, on to my other stories.

TheHard posted a comment on Friday 29th May 2009 2:11pm

Man, what a great ending for this "part" of the story (wink, wink!)

The dead of Dumbledode. It was really well done, I haven't read a lot of stories with that part well done.

The Hat... well... We all love the Hat! We all want to see more of it! :D

Man, this his one of the best stories in fandom, ever! I just can hope to read something this good in my lifetime, again.

I really wish I can go and know you for the launch of your story (I'm a little "bit" far away, being from Chile and all that), but I'm really going to buy me a copy!

Thanks for a great story, and for sharing it.

Well, see you in the next chapters, of whatever story are you going to write. see ya! :)

JBern replied:

The best bargain for Dead Eye is Smashwords where it's a meager $1.99 US.   It should blow your socks off like this fanfic.

I'll get on my other stories, so I can eventually work my way to Lie's sequel.

Secca posted a comment on Friday 29th May 2009 2:08pm

I really like the alternative that you gave us to Rowling's endings. I think that you managed a very nice tribute for Dumbledore, and I'm waiting for the sequel in anticipation.

JBern replied:

Thank you.   I'm glad you liked the eulogy.

MOD posted a comment on Friday 29th May 2009 1:01pm

OMG! Dumbledore is dead! Thats really sad...
curious how the war will shape up with HJ unleashing his inner marauderer.

A fantastic story! You are a great writer :)

JBern replied:

Thank you.   I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Manatheron posted a comment on Friday 29th May 2009 11:02am

EPIC win! For the record I would consider this a finished story, but to each their own. Excellent work all the way around, and I hope to see more soon.

~Manatheron~

JBern replied:

Thanks for the compliment.   It does stand decently enough on its own as a story.   Hopefully, the sequel will be a suitable companion piece.   I appreciate all your previous reviews as well.

Regards,

Jim

Mesterio posted a comment on Friday 29th May 2009 9:17am

I really hope this isn't the last of chapter for this, I can see things going further than this quite easily. But its your decision in the end. Hope you either continue this or create a follow up story.

JBern replied:

As stated in the author's notes, there is a sequel in the works, but don't look for it until fall or winter.

vandallas posted a comment on Friday 29th May 2009 8:28am

great chapter jbern, keep up the good work

JBern replied:

Thank you.   Hope you keep enjoying the now completed story.

Jim_xinu posted a comment on Friday 29th May 2009 7:51am

Great story, can't wait for the sequel.

Pity it was this DD you killed off--how about a repeat on the TML DD? :-D

Good luck with Dead Eye.

Thanks for sharing this with us.

JBern replied:

Oh I have something in store for DD in TML... trust me.

Thanks for this and all your other reviews.   I hope you enjoy Dead Eye when you pick it up.

grovepjp posted a comment on Friday 29th May 2009 7:35am

Now that was the shit...

I think i read there will be sql... but i recon it is in the distance...

Keep it up.. it is brilliant work...

Thanks,
flippie

JBern replied:

Thank you for the compliment.   End of this year, or beginning of next for the sequel.

Anansii posted a comment on Friday 29th May 2009 7:29am

<i>like a Marauder</i>,eh. OK.... I think THIS is going to be interesting.

Good job, and looking forward to the sequel!

JBern replied:

Thanks.   I hope the sequel impresses you when it comes out.

that1 posted a comment on Friday 29th May 2009 6:57am

Rats! ... (Yes, I am planning a sequel, but not until the end of the year).
I will be back in Kabul with a very very slow TCP/IP connection.
Oh well such is life.
Good job, keep it up!

JBern replied:

Well stay safe when you're over in that area.   At least fanfic doesn't eat up much bandwidth.   Pick up a copy of Dead Eye for some additional entertainment when you head over to that part of the world.

Wolfric posted a comment on Friday 29th May 2009 6:57am

Congratulations on finishing your fine story and on your publication. I continue to enjoy your work and look forward to more. Thanks for writing. W.

JBern replied:

Thank you for all your reviews.   I certainly wouldn't be this prolific without people's encouragement.

Oment posted a comment on Friday 29th May 2009 6:48am

Massive body count, more gore than in any ten gorefest films combined and a tantalising epilogue slash teaser. All in all, it's the perfect ending to a tornado-esque story in intensity, but with all the longevity of Everlasting Fire. Your penchant for straying away from the classic third-person perspective has made your fanfiction stories all the more interesting to read, and I won't deny that I'll be waiting eagerly for the next installment in this series.

In this chapter, I liked HJ's eulogy and Dumbledore's death the most. No glorious death for him, but a cheap shot and not even at Voldemort's hand. I had thought you would use Snape for it, should the time for Dumbledore's death come (though I didn't envision it coming this soon...), but this fits as good as any. As for the eulogy -- it's just evoking, let's keep it at that.

Good luck in your writing endeavours,

JBern replied:

Well the body count was near what I did in TFtCD.   I had originally planned for it to be Snape, but Igor became a better foil after Snape was dismissed.

What can I say, plans change.

Look for Inner Eye chapter 2 in a couple of weeks and thanks for the review.

MarinePotterfan posted a comment on Friday 29th May 2009 6:23am

I really enjoyed reading this story, cant wait for the sequel.

Thanks For writing
MPF

JBern replied:

Thanks MPF.   Always nice to get reviews from you.