Faceless posted a comment on Monday 15th December 2008 11:01am

Reviewing again over the Cho name controversy.

Cho is definitely her given name. I have quite a few Asian friends and even though their names follow the convention of family first and given name second, nobody goes around calling them by their family names. Everyone calls Cho Chang by the name Cho so there's no question about it.

Now for a bit of useless trivia:
Cho is a japanese name and it means butterfly. Chang is a chinese name and it means free/uninhibited.

I guess Rowling thought it would be funny to make her token Asian character an amalgimation of two different cultures...

JBern replied:

Good points on the Cho debate.   Sorry that I'm just now getting to it.   In this case I'll stick with the way I have it, but I'll go with the accepted way in my other stories.~Jim

baumgal2 posted a comment on Monday 15th December 2008 10:03am

Delightful! Well written stories seem to be rare species these days, thank you for this.

JBern replied:

Thank you.   I apologize for my delinquent reply.   More of this story coming soon.~Jim

dave g posted a comment on Monday 15th December 2008 6:28am

Very well done. A minor note about bedside manners, Harry wasn't being nasty to a patient, but to an interfering arse. His BM were fine, it's his diplomatic skills that were - well, if she wasn't french I'd say lacking...

JBern replied:

Sorry for the lengthy delay in my reply, but thank you for your review.   I'm finally catching up on my delinquent replies before I start chapter 19.~Jim

amulder posted a comment on Monday 15th December 2008 2:08am

Howlers. Brilliant.

Remus... err, not so brilliant (for them that is.) There's no way to cleanly solve that anytime soon without bringing him into the fold.

Hope Aimee doesn't lose her arm, that would be tragic.

Hilarious, mature, and completely unexpected, to have Fleur and HJ just calmly discussing a potential relationship like that. Brilliant.
Still, friendship would be a good start. One of them might suggest that.

thanks for sharing
...art

JBern replied:

Wow.   I'm really behind on my responses for this story.   Sorry about that.   More coming soon.   I'm starting on the chapter as soon as I clear out all my unreplied reviews.

dakinumas posted a comment on Sunday 14th December 2008 6:03pm

Cho Chang, Cho is her first name and Chang is family name.
Great chapter! looking forwards to the next!

JBern replied:

No offense, but do understand that Eastern culture is different from western culture.

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/surname  

surname (plural surnames)

1. A name that indicates to which family a person belongs, normally following that person’s given name(s) in Western culture, in English included, and preceding it in Eastern.

When I was coming up with the name for Kwan Chang-Ho in the Bungle/TML series, I discovered that tidbit, so technically Cho is her surname and Chang is her first name, although you could make an argument about how long the Cho (or Chang family depending on your POV) has been living in the west and which convention they are following.   In this story, I interpeted it to be the traditional way which is why the made up aunt in this story is named Cho Ri.

Alex Austin posted a comment on Sunday 14th December 2008 5:11pm

This continues to be one of the best fanfictions I've read, possibly bar none.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   More coming soon.~Jim

Minerva Granger posted a comment on Sunday 14th December 2008 1:52pm

I never knew Dumbles was a Rolling Stones fan! I loved this one. I hope all goes well with Athena. And I vaguely look forward to seeing the bet discharged.

JBern replied:

I have some things in mind for that bet...

Shea' Motsko posted a comment on Sunday 14th December 2008 1:34pm

I think the French Minister should be droping to her knees and offering up her big fat mouth for one hell of a blowjob after that extreme bit of stupidity and arrogance. Harry just volunteered for a whole hell of unspeakable AGONY in the form of a dragon-fire scorched lung (without painkillers!) in an effort to save the girl's life and that bint acted as if Harry vomited on her best robe. That Mr Beaucourt couldn't be arsed to even acknowledge Harry really pisses me off too. I have a child and if someone suffered that kind of horror to save my child's life, they'd be my new best friend for life. Harry should be a hero in thier eyes, not the vilian.

JBern replied:

Well, Minister Beaucourt is

a) French (not a bad thing per se, but being in England and after seeing her daughter injured in this English tournament might dredge up a cultural bias that from her view the English are barbarians and how can her daughter get proper attention here.)

b) powerful/haughty

c) a politician

d) used to getting her way and having things taken care of without her having to fret over the details ( the famous "make it so Number 1" from ST: TNG)

Mister Beaucourt's action was more out of embarrassment for how the previous encounter went down.   He's being portrayed as the hen pecked husband in this one.

I agree with you and have 2 daughters of my own, but was trying to portray a certain level of arrogance and whatnot on behalf of the Beaucourt parents.

Thomas V. Sperl posted a comment on Sunday 14th December 2008 10:34am

Way hey,
nice bit of fiction you have going here (even nicer if you consider the pairing you are planing for the end - what i want to say is, that it is nice to find a Harry/Fleur fiction that is well written (not something like: Hey Fleur let's have sex...) as there seems to be a shortage of fictions with that pairing (and any other pairing that is not H/G or H/Hr...) - believe me, i have read my share of those that do exist and most are not really that well done) and i just wanted to say:
Thank you for such an entertaining read!
And please keep it up - i am looking forward to reading more of this fanfiction.
Cheers,
Thomas Sperl (that V. is just a fancy of mine - i don't really have a middle name)

JBern replied:

Thank you for the compliments.   I wanted to write "good" Harry/Fleur where she actually has a developed character instead of nymph like tendencies and the words "male-veela" and "soulmate" do not appear in the text at all.

The less you as a reader have to suspend your disbelief, the easier it is for me to immerse you in the story.

Regards,

Jim

closet_fan posted a comment on Sunday 14th December 2008 8:33am

Jim,

I really enjoyed the prank on the twins. Their bullying tactics really needed to be answered. Perhaps a similar prank should be played on Vernon and Dudley in the future.

I've been slightly disappointed in Fleur's character in this story. She is extremely well written and developed but there is just something about her that screams high maintenance. Perhaps I prefer her kinky, sexual, infinitely more friendly character from Bungle/Turn Me Loose. Having read those stories first, I find myself comparing TLIL's Fleur to the former stories. I look forward to seeing how their relationship develops.

In comparing HJ to the "Cursebreaking Animagus (or is it Animage?)" I've found HJ to be more clever and intelligent but significantly less powerful. Is this because of an age difference, lack of a connection to his animal form, a higher moral standard or am I just reading into it too much? HJ's skills in transfiguration are admirable but seem inadequate for battling Dark Lords. The learning by experience that is present in Bungle and TML has given more insight to a potential "win" in the final battle but HJ just doesn't seem to have what it takes in this story. The Deus Ex Machina that seems unavoidable to me, will most likely be overcome by your exceptional writing talent, and you'll surely find some way to dazzle us all.

I look forward to your future updates as well as your original publications.

A.

JBern replied:

I'll address the last point first.   My LVs differ from story to story.   In To Fight the Coming Darkness, LV was a powerful, driven wizard who relied more on his guile than raw power.   In Bungle/TML, he hasn't really been introduced yet but it's safe to assume that Harry is at a disadvantage.   In this story, he doesn't even have his body back yet and he is fully capable of only seeing HJ as a very talented 14 yr old rather than the combination of Harry's power and James's skill.

As for Fleur, in Bungle/TML, she's confident/comfortable in her own skin.   She's also a few years older and more mature.   In Darkness, she was shallow, vain, and a bit prissy (before I killed her off).   Here I've struck a balance between those two characterizations.   She is sitting on the fence and could go either way with the support of the "right" man.   In Bungle it was Bill.   In this one it could be HJ.  

There's also the prospect that the actual romance might not start until the sequel.

Muad'Dib posted a comment on Sunday 14th December 2008 8:24am

Excellent chapter. Who needs the Hat, when Harry's been properly influenced by it anyway;)

Switching the lung will earn Harry some brownie points with a certain French witch.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   I"m glad you enjoyed it.   Brownie points all around!   More coming soon.~Jim

Wolfric posted a comment on Sunday 14th December 2008 3:57am

Great chapter. I believe that HJ needs to go see Dale Carnegie but I suppose he is having too much fun. Thanks for writing. W.

JBern replied:

Glad you liked it.   More is coming soon.   ~Jim

CosmosGravitation posted a comment on Saturday 13th December 2008 11:58pm

Excellent, as usual.

Harry's solution to the Dragon was unique, although I wonder if he could have found an easier way to go about it. Perhaps he was going for flare and style more than anything else.

Medical scene was top notch. Best I've seen in fan fiction. I'm a little surprised that it didn't seem like Aimee's parents knew who Harry was by sight alone. He's famous and was her date to the Yule ball after all. Or perhaps they were just feigning ignorance.

Fleur dismissing Harry reminded me a bit of Harry deflecting Katie earlier in the story. They both used the "timing isn't right" line. Guess it makes sense, since Harry thinks he's to mature for Katie, and Fleur thinks Harry is to young for her.

I honestly have trouble seeing how you're going to pull off a realistic Harry/Fleur relationship anytime soon. At least until the sequel. I almost hope you wait until the sequel for real Harry/Fleur, just to make it all the more realistic.

I know many people are wondering when Fleur is going to find out Harry is the pronghorn, but honestly I'm hoping that waits until the sequel too. Will likely be some conflict over it, and this story has enough just setting the stage for them to get together.

Still many interesting paths you could take with this story. I'm looking forward to the next installment.

JBern replied:

Well, I can't really tip my hand what I am going to do here, so I won't try to drop any hints.

The Remus conversation was the best reason for HJ's selection.   Like James, HJ did this based on what amused him the most.

Thanks for the review.~Jim

Mrs.TiffanyPotter posted a comment on Saturday 13th December 2008 6:33pm

I'm very happy to see that at least one of the many talented authors on this site is still activly posting. This has long been one of my favorite Harry Potter sites and it's to bad that it seems to be slowly dieing.

Now that I've gotten that off my chest. on to the review...I realy liked the medical scenes. I've always wondered about magical triage. You interpratation fits the bill nicely.

Are you setting the scene for some Harry/Amy before you get to Harry Fleur? It sure seems like it. Then again Fleur will probably be very grateful that Harry went so far to save her best friend. Great chapter. I'm looking forward to the next one.

JBern replied:

I can't speak for the rest, but I have no intentions of stopping any time soon.

I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.~Jim

keebler_elmo posted a comment on Saturday 13th December 2008 3:19pm

Good stuff. I was really hoping for more of a conversation between harry and Madame Beaucourt, but with any luck I will see it next chapter. Harry's plan, while amusing, I found slightly disappointing. Surely he would have realized that time was a factor and done something quicker. But then again, maybe he really doesn't care that much. I am looking forward to the Harry/Fleur conversation that will hopefully appear next chapter. I must say though, I found Harry's conversation with Lupin...slightly out of character. I thought him to be in better control of himself, but I guess not. Anyway, great chapter and keep up the good work.

JBern replied:

As Remus reinforced, HJ, like James was employing the strategy that amused him the most.

On that topic, this is the first time HJ - in full command of his memories encountered Remus.   Immediately after dealing with the dragon and pumped full of adreanaline.   It's a bad recipe.

warpwizard posted a comment on Saturday 13th December 2008 12:18pm

Good stuff, I like your Dark-evolved medical magic.

Very meaty chapter. Satisfying. Good character interactions. The events of this chapter will complicate things nicely with the Harry/Fleur/Aimee situation.


Error check: "draw taunt" = draw taut

JBern replied:

Thanks for the error check.   Glad you enjoyed the chapter.~Jim

WorldOfLilyEvans posted a comment on Saturday 13th December 2008 10:08am

Loved it! Hope you update soon.

JBern replied:

Thanks.   I'll work on it.

NWL posted a comment on Saturday 13th December 2008 7:40am

Great chapter, incredible medical part of it.

That said, I may have to pull a Dumbledore on this. While it may be a crime to remake any song but 'Ruby Tuesday' (according to Dumbles) and while 'Paint it Black' may have a bit of appropriateness given Sirius, consider the following:

Harry is fighting a dragon.

How in the world can any Stones song other than "Play with Fire" be used in that situation? (And yes, "Play with Fire" can be quite good when Howled)

JBern replied:

You make a valid point about Play With Fire.

Thanks for the review.~Jim

Anthony May posted a comment on Saturday 13th December 2008 6:20am

I cannot tell you how much I enjoy your writing and look forward to your updates. I get depressed when I realize I'm on the last few paragraphs. I do hope the Weasley twins can be salvaged - but it's your story and I'm prepared to go down any path you lead me. My children do not like to read (Much to my horror) but when I tell them your update is out, they immediately gobble it up. - Keep up the great work and I hope we have more before Christmas! - That would be a great present. Remember, it is better to give then receive - So hopefully you can GIVE us updates on both stories - think of the graces you'll receive. lol

JBern replied:

Thanks for the review.   We'll see what happens on the update front.   I make no promises.~Jim

rune1806 posted a comment on Saturday 13th December 2008 3:16am

You alway come with something new and in the world of ff that is hard to do. The whole healing scene was griping and so very funny at the end, well done.

JBern replied:

Thanks as always.   Glad I could keep the excitement level up.~Jim