By JBern
Reviews
Nights_Silhouette posted a comment on Tuesday 24th February 2009 5:12am
A great chapter, keept it up.
JBern replied:
I'll try. Hopefully, next chapter won't be a let down. Look for it in 10 days.~Jim
matthew2c4u posted a comment on Tuesday 24th February 2009 4:14am
Awesome chapter, this is matt/night, I really enjoyed chapter and im looking forward to recieving my copy of HHH
JBern replied:
Don't forget to review it on Amazon when you're done.~Jim
kate19 posted a comment on Tuesday 24th February 2009 4:08am
you take your time writing and i will take time to read it! and review ofcourse to tell you that this is an amazing chapter!! nice and long. bye
JBern replied:
Thanks Kate. Next chapter in about 10 days.~Jim
grovepjp posted a comment on Tuesday 24th February 2009 3:37am
Perfect as usual.
Will wait for the E-Book version of your other books.
Lugging around a paperback is so yesterday.
Keep it up.
yours
JBern replied:
Yes. The e-book will be available no later than April 1st. I want to give the people who ordered the book a chance to receive it.~Jim
Asad posted a comment on Tuesday 24th February 2009 2:58am
Very nice chapter! I enjoyed it and it's good to see Harry and Fleur together. This will make this story even more interesting.
Congrats on being published! Best of luck with it all.
JBern replied:
Thanks. Next chapter in about 10 days.~Jim
amulder posted a comment on Tuesday 24th February 2009 2:53am
Good Job, Jim.
I was waiting for a battle or bloodbath to start on the boat, and you surprised me by NOT having one there.
And then you surprised us again by having the Hogwarts ghosts deal out mayhem on the Durmstrang poltergeist. Again, totally surprising to this reader. Never considered it. And of course, a perfect solution for Nick! Never occurred to me that since he's a ghost, then another ghost would have to be the one to deal that blow.
Now I'm forgetting what deal HJ made with the Baron. I'll have to go dig it up.
And I'll have to disagree with HJ, yes this actually was the best time/way to tell about the Pronghorn. With all the kerfuffle it nicely distracted her, gave her some focus, showed Harry being a hero again, and other such things to help her see more than just the "little" betrayal. Not to mention I notice that it has been a long time (at least in chapters, not sure about book-time) since he visited her as such.
It's a minor point, but I would be curious to see resolution to how Minerva was tricked into not attending, and some fallout on that behalf.
And it's odd to call this refreshing, but in fanon terms, Victor is so often a minor but noble character. So I find it rather refreshing to see him portrayed as such a slimeball -- and a well plotted, fully rounded character of a slimeball as well.
Maybe it would be best for HJ and Fleur to not take credit for dealing with the geist. Better to just smile mysteriously and keep quiet? Hmm?
Interesting end to the Weasley twins' feud as well, assuming it really is the end. Again, I'd have to backtrack a bit in the chapters to see if I can discern what it was they really heard. I note that you didn't actually reveal details of they oath they signed. And yeah, I can see Dumbledore's point. I'm rather curious to see how Albus dealt with Bill, or not.
And that's long enough.
thanks for the cracking great story, Jim.
...art
JBern replied:
I'm glad I can keep you on your toes. HJ must sell the land granted to the Baron by Henry the Second for killing Becket. Ask for forgiveness from the current Archbishop of Canterbury and make a tithe of contrition on behalf of the Bloody Baron.
Too often Viktor is an "awe shucks" version of Tiger Woods. I wanted cocky, arrogant NBA star instead. The ultimate competitor.
Thanks for the long review. Next chapter in 10 days.~Jim
uthamm posted a comment on Tuesday 24th February 2009 2:44am
Awesome. Just . . awesome. The Rita article was classic and right on tone. Krum is an ass - can we please have him taken out? I will be interested to see what the consequences of McGonagill skipping out will be. Loved Harry's interaction with the younglings - ran circles around them. Tender Harry/Fluer interaction . . . kudos all around.
All this plus the Ghost Battle for the win!
I will have to re-read the interaction with the twins . . not too clear if Harry really did oblivate them or just played at it . . might just be me.
Thanks for sharing!
JBern replied:
Yes, HJ obliviated them. Glad you liked the chapter. I'll have another in about 10 days.~Jim
MrRobertsIII posted a comment on Tuesday 24th February 2009 2:01am
Loved the idea of Krum being on magical version of steriods.
temperamental Bulgarian Bon Bon can
-had me laughing
The MILF interview was amusing and had Luna nicely in character. I wouldn't mind seeing her in the story more.
It's probably an extra service that Poppy doesn't provide
-great idea.
I knew she and Alice were never on the best of terms, but come on!
-Excellent touch. ONe of the joys of reading your fics is that your characters are such regular, flawed people.
Snape or Slughorn might have a better chance of doing it, but who in their right mind would trust either of those two with the secret to eternal life?
-Good point. Excellent job with not only who he chose to give the elixer to but also how you presented in the story.
The leg injury is the lemon from which I get to make lemonade.
-both fitting and rather gross. I'll never be able to hear that phrase again without thinking of this scene.
The whole battle with the Giest was fun to read. After years of reading fanfic magical battles can get a bit old, but yours are also exciting.
Best to let him think nothing about the harmless little Peeves roaming the castle."
-Now that is how a poltergiest should be - scary.
Let the other fic sit for awhile. Looking forward to the next chapter in this one. Congrats on the real world writing going well!
JBern replied:
I don't know how much room I'll have for Luna in this story, but when I use her, I'll try to use her effectively. Roid rage anyone?
Next chapter in about 10 days.~Jim
Silo posted a comment on Tuesday 24th February 2009 1:47am
lol good to see u updating faster
JBern replied:
Thanks. More coming soon. I'm planning to finish this story before going back to TML.~Jim
MonkeyAxman1302 posted a comment on Tuesday 24th February 2009 1:44am
Great chapter! I don't think I've ever read a story thats had an actual Ghost on Ghost battle going on. Really a very clever idea. Gotta love "Nearly Headless Nick" asking to become "Completely Headless Nick"! Lol!
The hat and Fleur being travel show presents whilst a bit silly was good too.
I think that was a really good way for Fleur to discover the pronghorn secret. They way that they managed to finally kiss was also very good.
I like the fact that you are pacing out the cure of Neville's Mum. Some things even in a magical world can take time.
The ending with the tirade about the word "snog" and then "shag"; is this something you feel would be true of a French woman or your own personal grudge against us Enleesh? lol!
Thanks for writing; can't wait for more!
Monkey
PS - You seem to be writing Lie much more easily than TML. Are you struggling with TML like you did with TFtCD? My only comment would be is that you write wonderfully dark and comic stories but they seem to get to a stage of darkness that slows down your writing process. Just an observation but it might be worth some thought.
JBern replied:
It's just how I picture Fleur. Very hot, but prone to occasional bouts of bitchyness. Next chapter in about 10 days.~Jim
Renzo7 posted a comment on Tuesday 24th February 2009 1:39am
Awesome work, as always, Jim. Excellently written and well paced, it was an entertaining chapter. I liked the touch with the ghosts, and Now-Headless-Nick can probably back me up :P. Nice to see Harry's getting together with Fleur, at last.
JBern replied:
Next chapter in 10 days. Book details on www.jimbernheimer.com. Thanks for all your reviews.~Jim
Clell65619 posted a comment on Tuesday 24th February 2009 1:14am
- Wow, the Ghosts killed the Geist.
- Just wow.
- Of course Harry's injured the night before a task, again.
- Minerva's an idiot, Draco's an ass and Krum is a bigger one, so situation normal in the story.
- Fleur was far more accepting of Harry's visiting her than I thought she would be, very well done.
- This is easily the best WIP fan fic around.
JBern replied:
Thank you for the compliements. Hope I can continue to impress you. Next chapter in about 10 days.~Jim
morriganscrow posted a comment on Tuesday 24th February 2009 1:13am
Okay - I take it back....
Harry and Fleur are a good pairing.
Never thought I'd type that. Still, you've converted me - by the Power of Grayskull, or something.
Excellent chappie, loved the Geist's demise and the Twins comeuppance.
JBern replied:
Aha! A convert to all the HJ/Fleur goodness. I'll have another chance to impress you in about 10 days.~Jim
darkschneider posted a comment on Tuesday 24th February 2009 12:46am
Very good chapter as usual! I especially liked the article, it was wonderfully biased.
JBern replied:
Rita in all her glory. More in about 10 days.~Jim
Tabi posted a comment on Tuesday 24th February 2009 12:20am
Ah, I'll never see Professor Binns in the same light ever again. Hes as bloodthirsty as the goblins he always drones about...
JBern replied:
Glad you enjoyed it. Next chapter is in about 10 days.~Jim
koppe posted a comment on Monday 23rd February 2009 11:56pm
Great story so far, can't wait to see where this is going!
How will HJ and Fleur relationship progress? What will their friends, other students and the teachers -- who doesn't know his true age -- think about a 14 y/o boy dating a 17 y/o veela? What will the press think? What will the Hat say? Will HJ confide his other secrets with her?
What will Dumstrang think when they start missing their geist?
Will HJ and Draco soon come to blows? What about Snape?
I would like Hermione to get some more story-time, even though HJ doesn't need her so much as Harry... after all, she doesn't need to know that.
Keep up the great work, and update soon!
JBern replied:
I thing Durmstrang will be more worried about what is happening to their ship without the Geist...Fall of House Usher anyone?
You'll have to wait and see how HJ and Fleur's relationship progresses.
Next chapter in about 10 days.
Banner posted a comment on Monday 23rd February 2009 11:53pm
That was fun and immensely satisfying. Nothing like some really vicious violence to work off the anger. I did catch one grammatical awkwardness:
"My word is my honor, last of my line. If you can ensnare it again, this will go much quicker."
It would be easier to read if you change "it" to something that specifies the Geist. At the moment, "it" refers to "my honor."
JBern replied:
Thanks for the correction. Next chapter in about 10 days.~Jim
borsikk posted a comment on Monday 23rd February 2009 11:13pm
Another excellent chapter! I never can decide whether I like TLIL or TML best...
And I am happy to say I just ordered your short story collection - even though it will take more then twenty days to arrive here in Switzerland :(
Will you continue writing fan fiction when your book-deal comes through? Either way is of course fine by me - while fan fiction provides instant gratification when you update, it is also nice to have real books in my hand. Also, it's probably much nicer for you to get paid for your writing... which could lead to greater productivity!
Cheers,
Boris
JBern replied:
Thanks for ordering my book. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I don't plan on abandoning ff any time soon.
Next chapter in about 10 days.~Jim
Patches posted a comment on Monday 23rd February 2009 10:47pm
Harry really let Krum have in the interviews. I'm glad. Krum is crummy in this story and deserves what he gets. (Please excuse the pun!)
I like what Harry did to the twins. It isn't often when someone gets to them, especially this good. Of course Dumbledore would complain about Harry's method. The scene with Harry and Fleur serving Krum and his "guests" was pretty brutal. Krum having a stuffed Pronghorn on the ceiling was really cruel. I'm glad Harry was truthful with her. That helps. Having the ghosts from the castle destroy the Geist was great. I never have seen anything like that before. It looks like Fleur and Harry are going to get together. I look forward to more of this story. Thanks so much for writing. I am going to look up your book. pms
JBern replied:
Glad you like Krum as an a-hole. I like to give different characterizations with my stories.
Next chapter in 10 days.~Jim
Tumshie posted a comment on Tuesday 24th February 2009 5:20am
JBern replied: